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Friends disconnected

You will have read that Facebook has shrunk the world so much the degree of separation has been cut dramatically.

It was Hungarian author Frigyes Karinthy who postulated in 1929 that everyone is on average approximately six steps away, by way of introduction, from anybody else. In the age of online social networking where you can gain a “friend” with a click of a button, the degree of separation is now 3.74.

Which leaves some unanswered questions. Such as: why does Nigella never get in touch to invite me to a midnight feast from her refrigerator? Or maybe an afternoon home-baking session where I could lick melted chocolate from her fingers. [Calm down, Tom -- Ed.] Why does Neil Lennon never phone, email or send free match tickets?

Why, indeed, has no Celtic manager all the way back to Jock Stein ever been on to discuss team selection?

Footballing aside: Celtic youth Dylan McGeouch caused a stir with a wonderful solo goal on Saturday. I saw him score in a similar manner at an under-19 match two months ago and have been advocating his immediate elevation the first team. Why so long for the message to get through 3.74 degrees of separation?

Why has First Minister Alex Salmond never sought my expert opinion on Scotland’s relations with Catalunya? Why no informal appointment as a Scottish ambassador in Barcelona (on modest expenses)?

So, who do I l know? Everybody in River City. Not through social networking, just by being in the bar of Oran Mor after the lunchtime play.

I am feckless at Facebook and lackadaisical at LinkedIn, a network for making business connections. I have yet to find anyone on LinkedIn willing to hire at a high level of remuneration an aged hack with a vast catalogue of anecdotes, many so old that young people may not have heard them.

LinkedIn is full of messages about how some crisis management consultant is now connected to some risk assessment practitioner.

The only message I have ever put on Linkedin is to let people know my knee bone is connected to my thigh bone and my thigh bone is connected to my hip bone. No one has been in touch to say their hip bone is connected to their back bone.

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