An odd sort of fish has been landed by an angler down Cambridge way.
It is said to be a genetic mixture with the head of a roach, body of a goldfish and fin of a bream.
The local angling club think it is a fantail goldfish which may have crossed with a carp. A bloke from Angling Times believes it is mainly a fantail goldfish that has "hybridised" with bream and another silverfish species.
I think experts in fish genes should get themselves down to the Magpie Lake (nice name for a fishing hole) and check out what's going on.
More important, the scientists should see if the process can be applied to other, more edible, varieties. After all, who wants to dine on fantail goldfish with a hint of roach and bream?
My piscine hybrid of choice would be a haddock the size of whale. With cod cheeks which can be dusted with flour and a hint of cumin and shallow-fried. We may as well add on some skate wings to be done in black butter. Don't forget the skate knobs, the meaty joint that holds on the skate wing. Delicious deep-fried.
I should have mentioned that there may be canapés; this mixed-up creature will have the eggs of a sturgeon. While we are mixing the genes, let the fish have lobster claws and, what the hell, a tail as well. Maybe a whole lot of feet that look and taste remarkably like king prawns.
No doubt such a mutation would cause consternation and be given a name such as Frankenfish. Me, I would call it dinner. Or Frittomisto to be posh.
Way back in the last century we were promised that science would revolutionise our food, even humble vegetables. But we are still waiting for the cuboid potato from which it is so much easier to make chips to accompany the Frittomisto. Not to mention the square-shaped pickled onion which does not roll off your plate.
Genetic mish-mash of game and poultry should surely be possible. We have the precedent of the budgerigar who did it for a lark. So why not a coming together of quail and the turkey. Or a grouse and golden eagle supper.
Let's not investigate into the possibility of the lamb and the centipede.
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