There has been a welcome backlash against the move by milk cartels to skim even more profit by cutting the price paid to farmers.
Big dairy companies are paying heed to public opinion but we must maintain the level of solidarity.
Be vocal at the supermarket. Give it laldy with the theme tune from the Archers (it starts dum-de-dum-de-dum) and tell the store manager there will be a boycott if they don't give the farmers a bigger cut.
Part of the problem is over-production so it seems we will have to use more milk. I think we should start in pubs. It should be compulsory for customers to drink a pint of the stuff to line the stomach before they are allowed any alcohol. A white Russian cocktail shall be deemed a suitable substitute.
Cadbury's could help by increasing the content of each milk chocolate bar from a glass and a half to maybe two or three.
Schools should return to pre-Thatcher days. Corporal punishment may be re-introduced to ensure pupils consume their quota.
Support your local dairy farmer by throwing custard pies. With real custard, not that artificial cream out of an aerosol can.
It is the kind of activity best done with family or friends. Or maybe in the workplace as part of dress-down Friday. Many of your colleagues may be none the worse for a custard pie in the coupon.
People in posh postcodes may choose to vary the menu at custard pie parties by chucking syllabub,crème brulée, or lemon posset. Remember always to use paper plates.
There are other uses for milk. A face mask of the white stuff will cleanse the skin down to its deepest layers. You may choose to go the full Cleopatra and bathe in the stuff. You will be aware that the lactic acid is an alpha hydroxy acid which dissolves the proteins which hold together dead skin cells.
I am grateful to the Reader's Digest for the advice that horny-handed sons of toil can use a mixture of rolled oats and milk to clean their stained and gritty mitts and leave them as soft as if they'd been washing dishes with Fairy.
Help the dairy farmers. Start your day with a milky porridge scrub and a dip in a skinny latté bath.
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