We have traipsed round this track before but the idiocy of the London Olympics merchandise police knows no bounds.
In order to maximise income from these gross games, anyone who is not a sponsor is being threatened with heavy fines and even jail if they use names and brands such as London 2012, Olympics, Olympiad, the five rings, or the torch.
The Scottish Women's Rural Institute (SWRI) was banned from having a flower-arranging competition with an Olympic theme. The British Sugarcraft Guild was ordered not to include any 2012 logos in its annual festival of cakes. Illegal icing sugar or marzipan references to the Olympics would result in court action.
In the latest and most ludicrous prohibition an 81-year-old lady had to withdraw from a church charity sale a doll she had knitted and adorned with the five Olympic rings and the words GB 2012. The lady was advised that selling the doll with a £1 price tag was in contravention of the London Olympic Games and Paralympic Games Act 2006 through which the copyright ban is enforced.
Flower-arranging, home-baked cakes and now knitting. There is a pattern here. The Olympic organisers have obviously got it in for ladies of a certain age. It is time for a backlash.
The ladies might knit themselves securely on to fences at the Olympic site (using steel wool). Let anarchy be unleashed as SWRI members risk jail by creating Olympic floral arrangements willy nilly. May the power be with the British Sugarcraft Guild (maybe gas mark six) as they bake as many London 2012 cakes as takes their fancy.
You can join the protest. Come along wearing your counterfeit Olympics 2012 T-shirt. If we all blow hard enough at the right time, we might be able to extinguish the flame in the Olympic torch as it passes.
Further research reveals the London Olympics 2012 money men have not been entirely successful in closing all knitting loopholes. They may get a bit crotchety to discover that various books have been published on how to knit our very own Olympiad.
There is the Knitlympics which not only has patterns for your favourite athletes but also how to plain and purl tickets, medals, an olive wreath, a torch and a winners' podium. Don't tell me the merchandising people forgot to copyright the name Knitlympics?
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