FAR down a list of suggestions as to how Glasgow's buses might be improved would be the bright idea: let's change the numbers.
But that's what First, the city's biggest transportation franchise, has done. What you must do now is stop a number 6 and ask the driver: "Is this the bus formerly known as a 66?" He will say yes and on you get.
If two 6s turn up at the same time, it's definitely a 66. If three are in convoy, be afraid, for it is a 666 and this is the number of the beast.
There is no excuse for three turning up at once. Unlike the old days when drivers would go in wagon-train formation for protection from natives in outlying reservations chucking spears at the buses.
There is no empirical evidence of Glaswegians ever chucking spears at buses. It comes from a piece of literary licence by writer and director Morag Fullarton when she did the musical play Glasvegas during the city's 1990 year of culture. The sub-text to the title was: "Glasgow: a city where some are born great, some achieve greatness and some are still chucking spears at buses." It was actually half-bricks but spears sounded more interesting.
More recently Morag wrote the brilliantly funny short play Casablanca: the Director's Cut which I would say is even better than the much-lauded Black Watch but I can't because I didnae see that one.
Meanwhile, back on the buses the renumbering is just part of a major revamp by First. The project is called simpliCITY. Yes, the marketing people are getting all illiterATE again with their disregard for capITAL letters.
In the quest for simplicity, other numbers have been cut back. The 44 is now 4. But letters have been added adding compleXITY. There now buses answering to 1A, 1B, 1C, and 1D in an alphabetti spaghetti route. It's nice of First to go to all this bother but is the marketing hype necessary? What is needed for adequate public transport?
Modern buses that have low carbon emission and are not too shoogly. Drivers who do not yank on the brakes just when old folk with walking sticks, ladies laden with shopping, and mothers with prams stand up ready to get off. Bus stops with timetables, preferably digital, and detailed route maps so you don't need encyclopaedic knowledge that would win Mastermind.
Cheaper fares, say a £1 ticket to go anywhere in the city in the space of an hour using any bus and subway. Safe buses with nobody getting chibbed on the upper deck.
And clean buses. Nobody allowed on with chips unless sharing with all other passengers.
tom shields Simple buses
on ...
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article