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Saturday 13 October 2012

The genie of electoral reform is out of the bottle as it appears people as young as 16 will have their say in the referendum on Scottish independence.

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Tom Shields on …

Is this too important an issue to put in the hands of immature lads and lassies? Or will under-18s grasp their democratic rights with enthusiasm and an application to civic duty notably absent in their elders who routinely do not bother to vote?

Me, I am all for young folk being part of the political process. But we will have to adjust the rules and regulations, the customs and practices, to make voting more teenager-friendly.As well as the usual X, teenagers will be allowed to make their mark by writing "awesome" beside their chosen option. A lipsticky kiss on a candidate's name is also to be deemed acceptable. Voting papers will not be declared spoiled just because they are covered in graffiti.Kids will be permitted to "hang out" down at the polling station. Just like spending time at the "the mall". Or Woolworth's as it was in my day. White cider may be consumed if the bottle is suitably concealed. Groups of teenagers may gather at the actual polling booth to show each other how they voted and then shriek and giggle a lot. No snogging, not even if there is a curtain to hide behind.Completed voting slips which have been idly discarded on the floor instead of being out in the ballot box will not be dumped as litter and will be counted. Cheeky 12-year-olds trying to vote will get hunted by the polis.Hoodie apparel will be banned in the polling station at least until this rule is abolished by a tsunami of under-18 protest votes.Youth enfranchisement will change the dialectics of the democratic process in ways Hegel and Marx never imagined. Teenagers will declare themselves too busy to tidy their room because they have to be at the hustings. Young people's already enormous portfolio of knowledge will spread to politics. Parental voting patterns will be deemed pure embarrassing, like. It will be uncool to go voting with mum.Under electoral law it will be an offence for Conservative parents to use pocket money as an inducement to offspring not to vote Socialist Workers Party.

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Families

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