It's a jolly good idea, this finalfling.com, a "one-stop shop for end-of-life plans".
If you've got to go (and we all do eventually) it's best to be organised.
The website provides a kind of dead letter box with instructions for your funeral and other post-mortem stuff such as a video farewell message.
It is handy to be able to do all this organising online. For instance, I have been hunting high and low for the bit of paper with my list of funeral preferences. I want to amend the music and have Kirsty McColl singing Days. Ray Davies is great but Ms McColl has more resonance.
While I'm on the subject, I may as well make some other changes: I want a humourist rather than a humanist to conduct the ceremony. A humorous priest would be fine as long as he (or she – there might be changes before I go) doesn't overdo the religious stuff.
I always think it is a shame that the deceased doesn't get to be at the best part of the funeral, where people go along afterwards for a ham sandwich and a glass of sherry and the sharing of fond memories. So, when I go, it will the party first. Probably in a restaurant or a bar since crematoria don't do ceilidhs or catering.
There will be singing and dancing, I hope, and plenty of food and drink. Folk can rest their pint glass on my coffin. At the height of the party, there will be a call of "Taxi for Shields".
The finalfling.com site offers details of "celebratory artists" who can "weave meaning into a funeral service". You can have a "happening that is sweetly poignant, richly earthy, fabulously flamboyant, deliciously dramatic, delicately discreet or downright showy – depending on what you're trying to achieve".
The Glasgow-based website covers every aspect of funeral and remembrance from choosing a coffin to having the loved one's favourite clothes made into a quilt as a memento.
Most of all, it helps people have essentials such as a will, insurance and other affairs in order. Think, what a lovely gift for those you leave behind when they key your password into finalfling.com and find you organised it all before you went. I have a grave reservation that Microsoft might be involved and Windows won't support my funeral.
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