Parents face new challenge in multicultural families
By Kate Smith

When the first babies of 2008 are born this week, deciding on their names may prove difficult for the parents - especially if they're from different cultural backgrounds.

The social minefield of not offending the in-laws is heightened for couples of different race, faiths or ethnicity, say researchers.

Problems arise when they are seen to be favouring one side over the other, leaving grandparents feeling snubbed in the process, according to a study by London South Bank University for the Joseph Rowntree Foundation.

While some new parents try to cope with the name game by giving children a string of names reflecting all sides of their heritage, others try to avoid the "which side" row by creating generic monikers.

"Most parents wanted names for their children that they liked, perhaps drawing on popular culture or adapting or constructing idiosyncratic names, but they also wanted names that symbolised their children's various heritages," said Professor Rosiland Edwards who led the research.

"This desire for individual taste within cultural limits can involve parents in quite complicated practices around who names the child and what names are chosen. While most parents said that they chose names together, the discussions sometimes indicated that one parent had far more influence where a name reflected their particular background."

The 2001 Census revealed that Britain's mixed ethnic population is now the third largest and fastest-growing ethnic group. More than half of those were under the age of 16 and half had married or cohabiting parents.

"It is common for parents to give a run of personal names reflecting each aspect of their backgrounds, but in some cases parents felt that the principal name of choice was not well received by one side of the wider family," says Edwards.

One couple interviewed, Daniel and Meena, were, respectively, of British and Polish Christian and Jewish origin, and part Sikh and part English. They gave their children Indian first names and two middle names, one Sikh and one English, with a Polish surname.

But Meena said her father-in-law kept making tasteless jokes about his grandchildren and did not like their Indian first names.

"Efforts to acknowledge both heritages and satisfy the wider family can sometimes go awry," added Edwards. He gave the example of a mixed race couple, called Jafar and Chloe, who tried to pick a name for their son that sounded both Asian and British, reflecting his Muslim and Pakistani origins and her white British background.

"They settled on the name Kiran, which could also be Kieran. Unfortunately, on informing Jafar's parents, they found the name was Hindu rather than Muslim, and this caused something of a rift between them and Jafar's father in particular," said Edwards.

In some cultures, tradition demands that the father or grandparent chooses the name, or that a particular name be given. Edwards explained: "Bucking these conventions can cause difficulties in intergenerational relationships and parents often try to avoid this. One mum, Jinglei, originally from China, is married to a white British man.

"They have two children with English names, which they chose together. As a way of reflecting the other side of their heritage, the children also have Chinese names which Jinglei took responsibility for choosing in consultation with her father."

More typical were a couple called Paul and Katy. He was a black Ghanaian with a Christian background, and she was of white British and South African Jewish descent. They did not follow the Ghanaian custom in which the grandfather names the children, nor did they have them christened as Paul's family would have preferred. They simply agreed to give their children Ghanaian "day names" as their middle names in an effort to placate Paul's family.