THE DIARY WEDNESDAY JULY 1, 2009
HAMPDEN was awash with ageing rockers in black T-shirts last night as the long-lasting AC/DC descended on Glasgow for a much-anticipated gig. Jim Buchan of nearby Shawlands was talking about it with colleagues when one recalled that, when he was a youngster in Easterhouse, a neighbour was forever chasing away graffiti-writing kids.
One day he came out to remonstrate with them and, after seeing what they had written, shouted: "Who the hell is writing AhKihDihKih oan ma waw?"
Heavenly host
JOHN Carrigan, mine host at John Carrigan's Eating House in Hamilton, was organising a function on Monday night to celebrate Monsignor Thomas O'Hare's 50 years in the priesthood.
However, John had to tell the monsignor he wouldn't be there himself as he would be attending the licensed trade magazine Dram's annual awards night as a finalist.
"Well, I'll pray for you," said the monsignor, which some folk might construe as an unfair advantage - John went on to be crowned Licensee of the Year.
Cutting remarks
THE compere at the Dram awards was comedian Des Clarke, who pointed out that the two Scottish women who had never been off the telly recently were singer Susan Boyle and Health Minister Nicola Sturgeon, the latter talking about swine flu precautions.
Said Des: "Folk watching them in England must have been thinking to themselves, Is there not a pair of tweezers in that country?'"
- "Note for Gordon Brown," said the toper watching Andy Murray's game at a bar in England. "Andy Murray proves that Scots should stick to serving, not ruling."
Pound foolish
A MOTHERWELL reader strolling down Brandon Parade, the town's slightly threadbare shopping street, noted this week that the two pound stores at either end had closed, leaving only one in the middle.
"That's a pity," he tells us. "I'd have preferred a choice while shopping for the wife's birthday present."
Short odds
IT SEEMS there has been a reaction to all those scenes of Michael Jackson fans holding tearful vigils for the dead singer. Hamilton T-shirt manufacturers Dynamic Grafix say their "Michael Jackson RIP: Recycling in Practice" shirts are this week's biggest seller.
We, though, much prefer the gentler humour of another of their shirts: "Statistically, six out of seven dwarfs are not happy".
Pushing their luck
ON HOLIDAY in Portugal, pensioner Tommy Sanderson of Glassford hired a car and visited the town of Tavira, where the notices read "zona pago" at the parking bays.
Says Tommy: "We asked a local how to pay and were informed that there was a machine on the wall. This we located and proceeded to load with euro coins until the red indicator lamp allowed us to push the button. Behold a box of three condoms - and a lot of mirth from us three pensioners, to the puzzlement of locals."
Blast from the past
VINCE Durning of Glasgow was at the cinema where he overheard two teenagers discussing the new Terminator film. "Arnold Schwarzenegger isn't in it," said the first.
Looking puzzled, his pal replied: "Why would the Governor of California be in a movie?"
