THE DIARY TUESDAY 04 DECEMBER

AS Wendy Alexander clings to the Scottish Labour leadership, even the police are urging her to fall on her sword. Or perhaps it's something else. We're not sure. The picture is on Wendy's website but, alas, there is no explanation.

Incidentally, the political blog, Mr Smith Goes to Holyrood (no relation), points out that if you click on "Donate" on Wendy's website it states under terms and conditions: "In compliance with party funding laws, if I am donating more than £200, I understand that my details will be checked to ensure I am registered on a UK electoral register."

Ah, if only she'd read her own website.

Clash of the Curlers
WE mentioned the Curlers bar murals from the fifties being rescued. A reader from Ayrshire tells us about the legendary Byres Road boozer: "It was while gazing at one of these portraits I saw something just below in Curlers that day I had never seen before, and indeed have never seen since. One woman headbutting another."

Happy days.

State of animation
READER Gerry McDade of Greenock, watching the media scrum surrounding the release in Sudan of teacher Gillian Gibbons, heard the reporter state: "She is being pursued by a veritable cavalcade of reporters," and he thinks to himself: "So that would be the Khartoum Cavalcade, then?"

He tells us: "Haven't seen Paladin or Glen Michael yet, but will keep watching."

Waste paper
TORY leader David Cameron, during a speech at a recent dinner, claimed that reducing household waste collections from weekly to fortnightly hadn't affected him much. As he explained: "I have three children under five, and my bins fill up very quickly.

"Thankfully, they are gone through regularly by the Daily Mirror. I spoke to the editor the other day and said, Don't worry, I'll just send my bin to you every week to save you the trouble'."

Chain reaction
EDINBURGH Lord Provost George Grubb is one of the new entries in the 2008 edition of Who's Who in Scotland. George's wife Liz recalls admiring the striking gold chains both she and her husband get to wear as part of the job. Says Liz: "I was very impressed by the beauty of the chains. But they are put on and whipped off. I was told if I fall in the river, they will run for the chain first."

Hard on the heels
A GEOGRAPHY teacher in Cumbernauld explained she was late for school one morning as one of her high-heeled boots got stuck in a grating and she had to return home to change her footwear. Proof, if it were needed, that the story was true, was the fact that she came in the following day with the grating in her arms and the boot sticking out of it to asked the techie guys if they could remove it.

Pitch battle
SOME People Are Crazy: The John Martyn Story, by John Neil Munro, recalls some of the singer's scrimping early days in Edinburgh with banjoist Clive Palmer of The Incredible String Band. At one time they shared a flat in Coronation Buildings, where they lived in a tent pitched in the front room as they couldn't afford any heating.

It adds: "The menu was equally spartan as both men were busking for a living at the time. John told Classic Rock magazine how the pair once lived off a prized ram, which they had managed to procure from a cattle show. After dragging it home, the pair lived royally on ram chops for weeks to come."

Days of plunder
A GRANNY was telling her family: "It's changed days these days. I remember you could go to the shops with less than a pound and still be able to come back with a dozen eggs, a chicken, sausages and a tin of custard."

"That's inflation for you," her son piped up.

"Inflation nothing," replied granny. "It's all these security cameras they have in the shops these days."