In a recent interview with Time magazine, American designer Tommy Hilfiger was asked if there was any trend that should never be revived.

The correct response would have been: "Blimey, where do I begin? How about flares, capes, spats, four-button suit jackets, tie-dye vests, deerstalker hats, anything in velvet, most things in nylon, leather trousers, above-the-knee shorts, T-shirts that change colour when you sweat and monocles. And yes, Alan Cumming, I'm looking at you …"

Instead, what he actually said in reply to the question was this: "When I see people wearing floral prints I think they really don't have great taste. Why would you want to wear a print you see on a bedspread or wallpaper in an older person's home?"

Now this proves one of two things. Either Hilfiger's a mischievous old sod or he doesn't have his fingers anywhere near fashion's pulse because they are covering his eyes and blinding him to what any idiot can see, namely that florals for men are back. The first is possible but the second is unlikely. The guy built a fashion empire worth $3 billion so if he knows anything, it's what's hot and what's not.

Now the only way I could build a $3bn fashion empire would be to use my son's Lego and a great deal of imagination, but Hilfiger and I do share one thing and that is a mutual distrust of florals. It's not that I don't like flowers. They come in useful when I forget Valentine's Day and I'm thankful that garages still see fit to sell them. I'm as alive as the next man to the aesthetic appeal of the floral print, too, it just has to be in the right place. On the walls of an Indian restaurant is fine, on my trousers, my jacket, my shirt or (God forbid) my shorts - whether above or below the knee - is not. It's simple, really.

The UK's retail wallahs tell it differently, though. Trend analysts Editd have been banging the drum for floral prints in menswear for a couple of years now but they recently reported a 130% rise in sales of floral on this time last year. On the catwalks, meanwhile, designers such as Prada and Dries Van Noten have been showing floral prints in their spring/summer 2014 collections and online retailer Asos claims to have sold out of its floral suit for men.

A little investigation confirms that this does indeed seem to be the case, though I urge readers to check out the suit anyway. It is truly a sight to behold. Topman, meanwhile, are selling floral-patterned backpacks, T-shirts, socks, shirts and even pants.

Not for me, though. If I want to look like a flower bed with feet, I'll roll around in the garden in my boiler suit and my wellies then pop a daisy chain on my head.

Maybe if I was the macho type I'd give it a try, but if I tried dressing in florals from head to toe I know the only thing I'd end up looking is weedy.