Here's a recent scene from my oh-so-glamorous suburban life.
Running into a neighbour in Tesco I stop to chat because we've known each other a long time and our children are pals. After we've been over the usual subjects - independence, whether LoveFilm is still worth the money, how to get a sourdough starter to "take" - I ask her what she's doing up here on the mezzanine level, the upstairs bit you only go to if you want to buy a toaster, a Jason Statham boxset or a novelty Christmas jumper. She says, "I'm buying a novelty Christmas jumper."
I assume this is some sort of ironic Christmas Day ritual in their house. Maybe whoever is the designated kitchen slave wears it between the point where they've become too drunk to care what they look like (11am?) and too hot to be comfortable in a bright red acrylic sweatshirt with Have A Cool Yule picked out in silver glitter on the front (11.05am?).
Or maybe not. Turns out she's shopping on the instructions of her daughter, who is in her first year at high school and has demanded a novelty Christmas jumper. All the kids are wearing them, apparently. Who knew?
I suppose this was partly down to yesterday's Christmas Jumper Day, a charity event in aid of Save The Children. There was even a spoof version of The Killing on YouTube to publicise it - it might still be there, if you're quick.
But amid all the frivolity, it's hard not to come to the conclusion that Christmas jumpers are starting to be taken seriously. Or their lack of seriousness is starting to be taken seriously on the high street and at that more rarefied level where the decimal point has an extra zero in front of it.
Alongside the more traditional images you'll be familiar with from the covers of Val Doonican albums are jumpers and sweatshirts which now employ irony and offbeat humour. Eagle-eyed readers will know that The Herald Magazine has already featured a Santa-stuck-headfirst-down-the-chimney jumper, which takes a slapstick approach to the form, and among the others I've seen are Bling Santa jumpers (shades, gold chain and a white Hell's Angel beard) and a pair that say Cold Turkey and Ugly Christmas Jumper.
Being fond of anything which subverts the obvious, I've also taken a shine (of the red nose variety) to a capsule collection Topman has commissioned from London designers Sibling. They'll be showing at the London Collections: Men fashion shows in January, so they're clearly a serious label. But for their Topman x Sibling Christmas range they've created jumpers with a reindeer skull design and a chic black sweater that just says "Merry" in a garish, carnival sideshow-style script.
It's unlikely anyone will still be wearing these come January. But I feel confident enough to predict Christmas jumpers aren't just for Christmas any more - they're for Boxing Day too.
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