Where there is a new piece of technology for people to get excited about, there is usually also a Luddite faction singing "Let's get ready to grumble" to the tune of PJ & Duncan's Let's Get Ready To Rumble.
It happened first with power looms, then it happened with CDs, then it happened when supermarkets started selling cheese ready grated. And now it is happening again with the unveiling last week of the Apple Watch.
If you missed the news, it is a watch made by Apple, which means it tells the time as well as telling your friends when you post a status update. It can also unlock hotel room doors, apparently, has all the tap, swipe and pinch-and-zoom capabilites of an iPad, and can even monitor your heart rate and transmit the beat as a pulse to another Apple Watch wearer - which is as close to Woody Allen's Orgasmatron as I ever want humanity to get.
The new device also has voice recognition, so you can shout at it and it might actually respond. That is a terrific innovation. I wish more inanimate objects had that sort of functionality. I have a temperamental lawnmower and our relationship would be greatly improved if it could only give me a decent reason for why it won't start. Like: "I need petrol" or "Pull the dangly thing harder" or "There's bits of that frog you ran over last year still lodged in my fuel pipe".
These days we talk about neo-Luddites rather than Luddites, meaning those who are opposed to digital technologies such as tablets, smartphones, Apple Watches and those urinals that flush as you approach them. Generally, I have no truck with neo-Luddism. But where watches are concerned I confess I have some sympathy, and so should you - how can you not when you learn there are 1728 tiny parts in a Patek Philippe Calibre 89 fob watch. Okay, it is one of the most complicated watches ever designed , but even a basic mechanical wrist watch contains well over 100 parts, each one with a groovy name like hairspring, dial train or balance wheel .
Of course where technology and neo-Luddism meet you can usually find fashion types and I do not imagine things will be any different this time round. So I am expecting to see a return of the fob watch. Only four Patek Philippe Calibe 89s were ever made, which explains the 18-carat gold housing and the accompanying price tag. But at the more manageable end of the price scale things are starting to happen. Hip young French company FOB, for instance, has begun making fob watches that are also fashion pieces and cost from about £350. They have model names such as Rehab and, taking their cue from the way people accessorise their smartphones, FOB offers snap-on backs made in everything from wood to sharkskin. You don't need a waistcoat either - the three young Parisian co-founders wear theirs tucked into their jeans.
So do not let us get fobbed off with change for the sake of it. If it ain't broke, keep winding it up.
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article