Despite appearances to the contrary, I'm not much of a suit person.
For large parts of the working year - in fact most days that end in a "y" - the job simply doesn't require it.
Like most men, however, I quite like the idea of the suit. It's hard not to in the current fashion climate, when even Topshop is selling its version of the Savile Row whistle and everyone from superstar DJs to superstar footballers is photographed wearing them at this or that superstar-studded event.
Turn on the telly, meanwhile, and it won't be long before you find a BBC Four documentary eulogising the garment. Open a magazine and you can read about its importance as a "classic piece" that every man should have in black, blue and grey. Turn to your DVD boxsets for relief and there's Don Draper in seasons one to five of Mad Men, all trouser creases and pocket squares.
But amid all this fetishisation of the two-piece (or three piece if you're a waistcoat man), we tend to forget one important fact: the suit is esssentially businesswear and its natural environment is not the roped-off VIP area of some club where the Cristal costs £600 a bottle, but the break-out area of some dreary open-plan office where the vending machine's permanently out of KitKats. You know the kind of place I mean because it's probably where you work.
It's human nature, I think, to wear clothes which are appropriate to your surroundings. So if you work in a dull, shapeless, brown office block, it's perfectly reasonable to cut your cloth accordingly. In fact it would be quite unreasonable to wear a suit like the one actor Eddie Redmayne wore to pick up his GQ Man of the Year award recently - a Gucci number in the sort of check pattern the missus would describe as "shouty". Sure it's nice, but not for the office.
Perversely, the stuff known by menswear designers as "workwear" is equally useless for the office. It's mostly an expensive facsimile of the utilitarian jackets, trousers and overalls worn by British railway workers and French lorry drivers in the forties and fifties. Stick "worker jacket" into Google and among the top hits will be versions by Margaret Howell (£275) and Barbour (£229). Add a flat cap and a fisherman's sweater and you have the full "workwear" look, but I ask you: for what "work" is that the appropriate "wear"? I can think of Downton Abbey extra and web designer, but after that I'm stumped.
So there are suits and there are suits, it seems. And like it or not, real workwear for most men is a thing with a saggy seat and shiny elbows that was bought in M&S the year Gareth Bale was born. Checks? Not in our dreary open-plan office. Not in a day ending in a "y".
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article