I was, and still am, sceptical about the Apple Watch - doubly so now Prince Andrew has been photographed wearing one.
He was papped earlier this month wearing a limited edition version which costs around £12,000, comes in 18-carat gold and already has a fan club that includes fellow wearers Beyonce and Karl Lagerfeld. Prince Andrew's one is thought to have been a gift, but we won't fund out until next year when the list of his 2015 swag is published by Buck House.
As well as being able to text his ex-wife and find out when the sun sets in Monaco (handy if you're a jet-setter with a liking for nightclubs), I imagine he's made one or two jokes about the bit on the watch that Apple calls "the digital crown". (I'm only guessing, but something along the lines of "This is the only sort I'm ever going to get my hands on" would be moderately amusing in the right company).
If he hasn't deemed it gag-worthy, there are plenty of others who have and who are more than willing to pick up the mantle where this latest Apple gadget is concerned. When the product was announced, comedian and habitual Oscars host Ellen DeGeneres tweeted: "So excited for the Apple Watch. For centuries, we've checked the time by looking at our phones. Having it on your wrist? Genius."
It's that re-inventing the wheel feel that makes me most sceptical about the Apple watch and I'm delighted to see that traditional watch-makers are now taking the fight to Apple on just those grounds.
"A watch so smart that it can tell you the time just by looking at it" runs the witheringly sarcastic headline on a new advert for American watchmaker Shinola, a Detroit-based firm which also makes rather splendid bicycles. Their watches, they say, are "just smart enough" to not need charging at night, or ever require a software upgrade, or ever need replacing. "Hear hear!" as they say in the sort of clubs that have Prince Andrew for a member.
Now call me a reactionary if you like, but I can't help feeling that between the smartphone I've had for a year and the analogue watch I've had since 1979, I'm more than capable of both navigating the digital age and not being late to pick up the kids. I mean, if I want to check my pulse, I'll put my fingers on the wrist that doesn't have my much-loved Seiko on it. If I want to check the time too, I'll glance at the watch face as I do it. Simple really.
"Time is a crutch - eat mandarin oranges". I saw that chalked on the wall of the Uffizi Gallery in Florence in 1986. I had no idea what it meant then and I still don't. But had it said instead "Time is a resource to be marketed and monetised - let's do it by making an Apple watch", it wouldn't be any less bonkers.
Feel free to disagree. But me, I do love a wind-up.
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