I've been doing it wrong all my life.
The dirty food trend is on its way out.
I don't know if children still dook for apples any more but the association between apples and Hallowe'en remains unchanged, if only because they both come into season at the same time.
Cranachan, second floor, Princes Square, 48 Buchanan Street, Glasgow (cranachancafe.co.uk, 0141 248 6257)
It's appropriate that a groundbreaking food conference aimed at tackling the thorny issue of food banks, poverty and unequal access to fresh, healthy food took place at Glasgow Royal Concert Hall last week.
It seems I've been in a bit of denial about the so-called alternative food scene.
So what are we to make of the latest Michelin Guide, which awarded two new stars to Scotland while taking two away?
Barony Bites, 50 Main Street, West Kilbride (01294 823822)