Lame duck Prime Minister Julia Gillard, under fire from almost every level of society in the country for a number of perceived misdemeanours ranging from wearing too many designer clothes to basically having NFI (Aussie slang: no f*****g idea), kicked it off in a speech at the start of the week.
A beast is a sex offender and sex offenders have to be separated for their own protection, because given half a chance the other prisoners - all those decent, right-thinking blokes who stole cars, broke into houses, peddled drugs and started fights - would pee in their tea, crap in their porridge and roast their meat and two veg with scalding dishwater.
In every jail in every country the beasts, the blokes in the protection wing, are universally reviled and despised in a manner Jeremy Clarkson simply couldn’t envisage.
"This bloke, sounded Scottish, came up to me and called me geezer. Then he called me a fag. He was a bit pissed, mind you."
"Nah mate," I said. A Scotsman would never say geezer, he'd… now hold on a wee minute."
"Hey you. Geezafag". The authentic calling card of that quaint Scottish character, the threatening totally pissed-up ned.
One such fear is that on which the criminal justice system is based. And, like most fears, it’s not entirely rational.
I’m talking of course about the myth that any infraction of the law can and very well might result in long term incarceration in a grey-walled, spartan prison cell. Then, once ensconced in this sorry hell-hole, you’ll be immediately two-ed up with a large, unfeeling beast who goes by the name of Big Bubba and personally organises an extreme, violating, 'welcome to chokey' party that you’ll never forget.
Through a combination of shrewd tactical know-how, ruthless flint-faced calculation and incredible self-belief, he came to be acknowledged, with all respect, as The Godfather.
But to everyone else, he is simply, Fergie.
Born and raised in the bucolic village of Govan, where a pastoral, sleepy setting camouflaged an underbelly of inherent corruption and wrongdoing, the young Don Fergie instinctively appreciated how self-respect, hard work and, most of all, loyalty to the family could lead to success and fulfilment.