It�s a cold autumn evening in Glasgow, and the Maggie�s Cancer Caring Centre is overrun with excited young Brownies from St Paul�s in Shettleston.


It's a cold autumn evening in Glasgow, and the Maggie's Cancer Caring Centre is overrun with excited young Brownies from St Paul's in Shettleston. Amid shrieks of "This is pure awesome!" and "How cool is that?" on first seeing its beautiful and thoughtfully-designed interior, a rather more serious lesson is being absorbed. Learning how to live with critical illness in close family members is becoming a key part of their emotional education.

"Very often children of cancer patients feel left out because perhaps their parents try to protect them, and because they don't get the chance to visit hospital when their relative is getting treatment because they are at school," says Maureen Fee, centre head of Maggie's Glasgow. "Being in the centre helps them learn the reality of cancer and cancer treatment in a gentle, indirect way."

Most of the children have experience of cancer. Sisters Rachel, 16, and Hannah, 14, from East Kilbride, who are both girl guides, lost their 87-year-old maternal grandmother to cervical cancer last year and were involved in her illness. She had had treatment twice previously, having first been diagnosed 15 years ago.

"I remember taking her to hospital in the car when she went for chemotherapy the second time, although I was quite young," says Rachel. "Then last year, when she was ill for the third time, we were all involved. It was difficult because by then she also had dementia."

The girls were told about their grandmother's condition only when she was in remission after the second batch of chemo. Rachel was six and Hannah four. "Our parents didn't want to upset us until there was good news."

During their gran's nine-year remission, cancer was regularly discussed in the family. It was agreed that Rachel would have the HPV vaccine to protect her against cervical cancer. But when news came that gran had become ill again, it was devastating.

"I remember crying at school all that day," says Hannah. "We noticed a big change in her. She stopped doing things and started staying in bed, whereas before she was really involved in our lives. She used to be a very happy person."

The girls are visiting the Glasgow Maggie's to get an idea of what goes on. "It feels like home. I'm sure our family would use it, because it seems like a place for getting your strength back," says Rachel.

Both girls say their experience has opened their eyes to how cancer affects the whole family.

"Although it was very sad, it's not something I wish I hadn't experienced," says Rachel. "I feel I can empathise more with other people now."

Both say they would much rather have been told than not. "We never felt we couldn't ask mum about it. You can't stop your relative going through it, so you can't stop yourself wanting to know."

Seven-year-old Marissa Adams, from Sandyhills in Glasgow, also shared the family experience of critical illness when her 74-year-old paternal grandpa died of prostate cancer in April. "It's been quite a traumatic year for her," says Maureen Fee, who is her aunt. The family arranged for Marissa and her siblings to visit their grandfather at his home near Southampton shortly before he died "to help them form great memories of him".

Their mum told them about their grandfather's condition before they went. "She said, Grandpa is really sick, and when you go down to England you might notice he is a bit different'," recalls Marissa. "When we got there he was up having his tea, but went back to bed straight away. Then one morning when we were back home, mum said grandpa Brian had died." She attended the funeral. "My aunt said a reading at the altar, then my cousin Harriet started to say a story about his life but she started crying and had to stop. After it I was really really crying. My granny Jenny gave us a wee pat on the shoulder. Then we went to the swimming pool."

Involving children in a cancer experience is never easy but it's important, says Seonaid Green, Information and Support Specialist at Maggie's Edinburgh, which runs a Kids' Information Day for children of primary school age with a significant adult in their lives who has had a diagnosis of cancer and is going through treatment. The four-hour course was initiated in collaboration with staff at Edinburgh's Western General Hospital three years ago, after it became apparent that increasing numbers of parents with young families were being diagnosed, mostly as a result of better screening and public awareness of the disease. It's designed to help children feel less insolated and to open up dialogue within the family.

The children must already know about their relative's cancer before they visit. "We advise parents to tell their children as soon as possible and to use the cancer word," says Green. "They should be as honest as they can be, but not go into a huge amount of detail and to follow the child's lead. Children are often quite direct and will ask the questions parents are sometimes afraid will be asked. If they want to know if their mum is going to die, we advise parents to give a measured answer and say they hope not and that's why they are going for treatment and why the doctor is giving them medicine.

"Even though it's difficult, tell them as soon as possible because if they don't the chances are they will hear it from someone else in the playground or wherever, which can be both shocking and disempowering. If the whole family is in on the information first, the child will feel more in control when outwith the family home."

She says that knowledge also lessens the fear. "If children don't know the facts, they imagine them."

The course, only available at Edinburgh Maggie's, although there are plans to introduce it at the other centres, also incorporates a visit to the oncology operating theatre at the Western, in whose grounds Maggie's is located. Children get to wear masks, hats and gloves and to view the surgical kit, and to lie on the bed their mum or dad has "been asleep" on.

They also get to put surgical iodine on a sponge and to paint with it, and to listen to the music played by the surgeon during a procedure. "This lets them have a feel for what it's all about," says Green. "The visit usually happens when the parent is in the middle of treatment."

Far from being terrified by the experience, she says that children tend to be enthralled. "Kids are very pragmatic and they love to know the practical details," she says. "Sometimes they ask, Was that pair of scissors used on my daddy?'"

How you can help Maggie's Centres

To mark our 225th anniversary, The Herald is teaming up with the Maggie's Cancer Caring Centres in a campaign that will provide lasting support for people across Scotland affected by cancer. We are inviting you to become a Herald Friend of Maggie's, either as an individual, a group or a company, to support the charity's work in 2008 and beyond.


  • Maggie's Personal Friends are individuals who give by direct debit to Maggie's. From as little as £5 a month, a Personal Friend can give someone affected by cancer the chance to attend one of Maggie's workshops once a month for a year.


  • Active Friends are volunteers who form a group that represents Maggie's in their home area and helps raise money in local communities. You don't need experience, just good organisational skills and a passion to improve cancer support in Scotland.


  • Corporate Friends can support Maggie's in a range of ways, including taking them on as their Charity of the Year or holding business breakfast and networking events. The Maggie's corporate fundraising team will work with you tailor a programme that meets your goals.


  • Everyone who signs up as a Personal or Active Friend of Maggie's is sent a stylish, eco-friendly carrier bag designed by the Scottish design studio Timorous Beasties.


  • To become a friend of Maggie's, call Ellen Martin on 0845 508 4681 or visit https://www.edirectdebit.com/maggiescentres/ To mark our 225th anniversary, The Herald is teaming up with the Maggie's Cancer Caring Centres in a campaign that will provide lasting support for people across Scotland affected by cancer. We are inviting you to become a Herald Friend of Maggie's, either as an individual, a group or a company, to support the charity's work in 2008 and beyond.


  • Maggie's Personal Friends are individuals who give by direct debit to Maggie's. From as little as £5 a month, a Personal Friend can give someone affected by cancer the chance to attend one of Maggie's workshops once a month for a year.


  • Active Friends are volunteers who form a group that represents Maggie's in their home area and helps raise money in local communities. You don't need experience, just good organisational skills and a passion to improve cancer support in Scotland.


  • Corporate Friends can support Maggie's in a range of ways, including taking them on as their Charity of the Year or holding business breakfast and networking events. The Maggie's corporate fundraising team will work with you tailor a programme that meets your goals.


  • Everyone who signs up as a Personal or Active Friend of Maggie's is sent a stylish, eco-friendly carrier bag designed by the Scottish design studio Timorous Beasties.



  • For more information, visit < ahref="www.theherald.co.uk/maggies">www.theherald.co.uk/maggies You will be kept up to date with events at Maggie's through a newsletter.