Business Diary: John Wright, former chief executive of Clydesdale Bank, brings to the attention of Business Diary a credit crunch-inspired Christmas carol.
John Wright, former chief executive of Clydesdale Bank, brings to the attention of Business Diary a credit crunch-inspired Christmas carol. We can only presume it goes to the tune of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town".
Ready? One, two, one two, three, four (billion)
"You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town.
"It's hitting you once,
It's hitting you twice
It doesn't care if you've been careful and wise
Recession is coming to town
It's worthless if you've got shares
It's worthless if you've got bonds
It's safe when you've got cash in hand
So keep cash for goodness sake, HEY
You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town!
Finance products are confusing
Finance products are so vague
The banks make you bear the cost of risk
So keep out for goodness sake, OH.
Chorus etc."
We think this is far too grim.
Less can be more. Why not just substitute "Alistair Darling" for Santa Claus, and stick with the rest of the original lyrics, for the perfect banking sector Christmas party song?
Two seats for the price of one but will it catch on?
ANOTHER sector which does not have its troubles to seek is the airline industry.
The Supreme Court of Canada did not make life any easier for embattled airlines this week.
In the type of ruling which would almost certainly lead to yet another Ryanair levy if Michael O'Leary's budget carrier flew to Canada, the court declared that people who are "functionally disabled by obesity" deserve to have two seats for one fare.
We can only presume, in spite of the scrum for unallocated seating these days, that these seats will be next to each other. And not across the aisle either.
't' is out for Sage of Omaha buffet
THE proof-readers obviously had a day off when the press release was sent out announcing the launch of a book giving an insight into the mind of one of the world's most revered investors.
This book, we were told, is entitled "Warren Buffet and the Interpretation of Financial Statements".
It was written by Mary Buffet and David Clark, who also wrote "The Tao of Warren Buffet".
That's three missing "t's" so far from the Buffett family name.
Buffet? We're not here for the sage-and-onion stuffing. We want to hear about the Sage of Omaha.
Ovation for Rushbrook achievement award
THE late Ian Rushbrook, manager of the Personal Assets Trust, was honoured with an outstanding achievement award at this week's investment trust of the year awards.
The announcement was greeted with a standing ovation from the audience on a night when other prominent Scottish fund managers were also recognised. Bruce Stout's Murray International and Standard Life UK Smaller Companies, run by Harry Nimmo, topped their respective categories.
Rushbrook, whose Thatcherite sympathies were so strong he spent £100,000 on one of the Iron Lady's handbags, might well have enjoyed the speech by Daniel Godfrey, director-general of the Association of Investment Companies.
On complaints from the City that recent government action to bolster financial institutions amounted to socialism by the back door, Godfrey said: "We're not socialists yet. Socialists only nationalise successful companies."
- Contribution: Tim Sharp
