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My health: Michael Redmond

I’m getting older – I’ll be 60 in October – and getting to the stage where, if you get a little twinge in your chest you assume it’s a heart attack.

I don’t have a fitness regime, I have three children. If I go to the shops, I walk rather than take the car, but I don’t go to the gym and never have.

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I know a guy who drives two miles to the gym and then spends 30 minutes on a walking machine, which is about the time it would take him to walk there and back, and it costs him £30 a month.

When I was about four, I had to get my tonsils out. I haemorrhaged and was on the danger list for two days. In those days, doctors did nothing wrong, so they said my blood was very thin, but I think they ballsed it up. These days I could probably sue them.

When I was younger, I had a dentist in Ireland and he wasn’t very good. I had to get a tooth out once and I don’t know if it was very deep or what but it took him about two hours to yank it out.

I don’t remember any physical pain because I’d had a local anaesthetic, but the stress was bad. I didn’t see a dentist for 10 years after that.

I always get nerves before a gig. There was a stage early on when I would have breakfast and couldn’t eat anything else for the rest of the day. These days, I get nervous about half an hour before I go on, but it’s not blind terror like it used to be.

If I’m compering at The Stand, I might have a pint or two in the course of the evening, but I wouldn’t have four or five pints to compensate for my nerves. Hecklers are usually a bit drunk, so if you are too, they might get one up

on you.

Michael Redmond’s Sunday Service takes place at The Stand comedy club, 333 Woodlands Road, Glasgow, on Sundays at 8.30pm throughout June. Call 0870 600 6055.

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