There was, of course, that restaurant critic moment when the restaurant critic, that would be me, sticks his hand up and says: "Mwah, I'd quite like to try a few of those interesting Mongolian dishes on your menu."
And the waiter guy, turning to go to the kitchen at this point and no doubt having already sorted in his mind what he's going to bring, turns and says with a completely straight face: "Of course, sir".
And then the restaurant critic, being jolly pleased that he has applied some order to this ordering chaos, which he hates, looks up and finds the whole table staring at him. Speechless, obviously, with new found respect.
Until someone breaks the silence by saying: "This is actually a Nepalese restaurant, not Mongolian". How we laughed, well, they did. Leo and Louise, Debbie and Karen, big Ian from Dundee, even the kids.
Hey, occupational hazard, the restaurant critic thought as they all dived into delicious bowls of a supercharged Bombay mix, crunchy, soft, full of puffed rice and drenched with the flavours of onions, spices and fresh sweet coriander.
Indian bhel puri, the restaurant critic swiftly and correctly identified it as, though wisely he kept this to himself. It was in fact Nepalese chat-pate puri. Ho hum, as we say in the trade.
By then a marinated lamb kebab wrapped tightly in thin but puffed naan bread was being tasted, passed around and nodded over. Seekh definitely. Nope, something called a Gorkhe.
Thankfully the chat had now moved on; past the deep feelings of shock that ex-pat Dundonians apparently feel when Sainsbury's runs out of the Sunday Post and on to how many different restaurants this tiny - 16 seats max - shoe box across from the Wholefoods car park in Giffnock, has been in its life. Certainly, a Chinese once, or was it Malaysian, then an Indian and I seemed to remember that it was bigger 20 years ago, may even have extended out round that corner. Possibly not, it's on the first floor after all.
To an Achari kebab then, spiced, marinated, very tender chicken fought over in a very Glasgow-Giffnock way, that being the last remnants offered around in a genteel you-had-better-not take-this-fashion. By me.
Then the main courses arrived in a pungent whiff of mustard oil and the distinctive fragrance of what the restaurant critic says is clearly freshly chopped curry leaves. He checks this in a momentary panic, given his current form it could easily turn out to be hedge clippings, and is relieved to see at last he's right.
Sadly, nobody is any longer paying the slightest bit of attention as they help themselves to various rich, dark curries. In the post mortem later it will be claimed, not by me, that the Lamb kannanda or was it jabanda was particularly good. As no such dish exists on the menu, on the internet anyway, it could have been a lamb labadhar.
There was definitely, maybe, a bhote masala and absolutely probably a lekhali karahi.
Of the timure, with its numbing Sichuan peppers and gingery overtones, as temptingly outlined on the menu, I have to report no sighting was ever confirmed.
When the meal was over and had been greatly enjoyed long after the serving dishes had been passed again and again there was an attempt to ask the waiter to identify what the various smears of gravy on cleared plates had once been. Given there wasn't a forensic scientist on hand we left none the wiser. It certainly wasn't Mongolian, but it was enjoyable. Especially the starters.
Mount Cafe
2 Burnfield Road, Giffnock
Glasgow
0141 638 7330
Menu: Indian restaurant with some interesting Nepalese dishes including chatpate bhuja, ghorke kebab and achari tikka. 4
Atmosphere: Tiny, but cosy shoebox of a place up some stairs across the road from Wholefoods in Glasgow's Giffnock. 4
Service: Faultless and friendly, though we were the only customers. If you let them order for you, you'll have some fun trying to work out what you're enjoying. 4
Price: Starters are good value and mains are pretty much what you'd expect nowadays though the restaurant world is very price sensitive these days. Fresh ingredients 4
Food: Fresh cooking, a few unusual flavours, both the ghorke kebab and achari tikka are well worth tasting while the mains were rich and full of flavour. 7
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