And now for something completely different.
Well, slightly different. Actually not that different to what we all do at home: cook.
I know, a restaurant where you cook your own meal. It'll never catch on. Though - and I have just pointed this out to Paul and Popeye by way of persuading them to actually come in here tonight - the cook-it-yourself Mongolian hot-pot is hugely popular in China, and that involves tossing meats and vegetables in a boiling pot of hot liquids set in the middle of your restaurant table.
Here, in Bull Leader - nope, no idea what the name means and I didn't understand the waiter's explanation - we're not a million miles away from that.
There's no boiling pot in the middle of the table, just a very hot plate covered with a disk of greaseproof paper that's been heavily oiled by a waitress with a little brush.
The brush and the oil are among a number of little accessories including soy sauce, chilli oils and other seasonings that are brought to the table for us.
The idea is simple. Go to the buffet counter and select a number of raw items, bring them to the table and grill them on the hot plate.
Tonight, apart from us the customers look entirely of Chinese or Japanese origin, which is perhaps why the waitress is doing all our cooking for us as we look on helplessly, sip strange-looking coconut juice and listen to quite loud Japanese pop.
First impressions? Sprinkled with the spice mix provided at the tables, the prawns are quite nice.
Dipping the slivers of ox meat into the bowl of chilli sauce gives them a good bite. The smells rising from the plump chunks of white fish slowly sizzling before us are appetising (though I'm not sure exactly what they are) and the pork, beef and ox skewers are charring nicely and sending up aromatic scents.
There are also a few vegetables, peppers and mushrooms, slowly cooking at the edge of the hot plate.
It's a very civilised form of cooking. The plate is hot enough to ensure whatever is placed upon it reacts instantly and satisfyingly to the heat but it's not so hot that the food spits or overcooks, or threatens to misbehave and burn itself in any way. Even the disks of puffed rice cook up well, crisping on the outside and softening inside.
Sadly, none of us has picked any of the ducks' gizzards, sliced pigs' ears or ox hearts.
Nobody is rushing, either, for the dishes of sushi that are being constantly replenished by waitresses coming through the swing door at the back.
The restaurant is full now and it seems to be largely young couples grilling away while chatting.
We've persuaded our waitress that we can be trusted to cook and she has left us to it. Astonishingly, it's remarkably straightforward but now that Linda and then Marco have joined us late there's a clear design flaw. One grill between two people may be about the right size to keep the food flowing but one grill between five is far too small.
On top of that, delicious though a tad chewy as the grilled meats undoubtedly are, nobody is getting fat or even filling up on any of this.
It's a buffet, so for £17.99 we could sit here all night and just keep eating proteins until we could eat no more. But out there on Union Street the whole of Glasgow is still in the midst of its festive celebrations and somehow we have the urge to join them. Even though I only suggested this place as an antidote to the Christmas menu madness that was gripping the city.
Bull Leader, then? Different. Fun. Probably very healthy and quite slimming.
I suspect it's more for the East Asian community though.
Menu
There isn't one. It's a Japanese cook-your-own-meal-on-a-hot-plate joint. Prawns, fish, and pork mingle with duck gizzard and ox heart. 4/5
Atmosphere
Japanese pop music plays, crisp and very clean decor and ambience, a little bit fast-foodish but by no means unpleasant. 4/5
Service
It's self-service, though the very pleasant staff were anxious to help us by grilling our dishes as we watched. 4/5
Price
It's £17.99 for all you can grill. But the grill doesn't get any bigger if there are five of you. Best for couples. 3/5
Food
Good range of things to cook, with plenty of prawns and white fish not to mention sushi and other rice cakes. Fun and different. 5/10
Total: 20/30
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article