I DOUBT I’ll survive death. Yet the rationalist view that we are nothing more than limbs trafficking a skin bag of ancient chemical compounds in a brief sprint towards endless nothingness certainly leaves me aching for the ethereal. The Celts were also reaching for meaning in existence, finding solace in their belief that fairies regularly plunged into the hereafter to weave "low roads" which guided the homesick spirits of lost Bravehearts back to Alba.

It's a quaint notion in the age of Foxy Bingo and celebrity demigods, certainly, but given Loch Lomond's ancient origins in glacial ice sheets, it's not surprising that Scotland's largest loch – all 23 miles of it – is steeped in folklore. This potent cultural catalyst even succeeded in re-animating the imperishable carcass of a mysterious force popularly known as Runrig: the Hebridean folk legends whose decision to cover The Bonnie Banks Of Loch Lomond seems to have birthed them an albatross with anchors for wings. Forever relevant, it’s a song unable to die, enjoying an extended afterlife deep in the bosom of the national psyche.

Indeed, many motorists have nearly ended up taking the low road themselves while negotiating the hairpin twists and wild, spindling curves of the A82 near Tarbet. Fortunately, our journey was mishap-free, as we embarked on the our first family holiday following the birth of our daughter.

Arriving at our luxurious wooden lodge in the intimate and tranquil confines of Loch Lomond Holiday Park near Inveruglas, we dispatched our bags in the hallway and wandered into the open-plan living space with mouths agape. A near-transcendental panorama surrounded us, framed by towering windows which wrapped around the room.

These spacious, opulent conditions were certainly preferable to those once enforced by the locals to test a couple's resolve in times past, where one of the loch's many petite islands would host newlyweds for a week. If the stranded pair returned to the mainland on speaking terms, a celebration would mark their obvious compatibility.

In contrast, much of my own 21st century suffrage of solitude would be spent fizzing like an Alka-Seltzer in our king-sized outdoor hot tub. With big Benny Lomond – an imposing, towering giant with his head in the clouds – serving as protector of the realm and navigational guide, it was with genuine awe that we considered how the west shore of what was once yawning basin of violent glacial destruction has over many millennia given way to such a heady scene of serenity. If you ignored the roar of jacuzzi pump jets.

You’d need a lot of soap to make a lather in Loch Lomond, but in retrospect the location was certainly an obvious choice to provide the yin of calm tranquillity to yang’s dramatic deep waters in the fictional TV village of Glendarroch. With Luss serving as the evocative backdrop to exterior scenes, the series that became simply "High Road" in a youth-chasing rebrand was for many years one of the highest-rated programmes on STV – a feat indebted as much to its unrivalled location as it was to the trials and tribulations of Mrs Mack.

Gwyneth Guthrie’s fine miserablist creation often found solace in a good brew and she certainly wasn’t slow in critiquing a poor one in the programme. In accordance, the many cafes and tea stops dotted around, such as the cosy Home On The Loch, are exemplary when it comes to maintaining Mackian standards of quality.

For something more substantial, the family-friendly Loch Fyne Restaurant & Oyster Bar is a prime destination of many visiting celebrities, politicians and royals and can be found in nearby Cairndow – just a brief and beautiful 15-minute drive from Tarbet. It’s not often you can view your dinner’s former home from the window, and the visual feast gifted by this stunning location is perfectly complemented by the wealth of newly-caught offerings on the extensive menu. Loch Fyne’s culinary delights make it quite obvious the difference such freshness makes, and this tastefully converted former cow byre offers a spectacular seafood experience for everyone – from couples seeking intimacy to large family groups.

Burning off any over-indulgence will be easy for walkers at Loch Lomond, with the perilous Arrochar Alps shimmering into focus to the west, along with a number of less frequented lower hills which are the wiser choice for moderate climbers. Routes exist to cater for walking at all levels of ability, from fun family rambles to longer, more arduous hikes.

Stirring as a trek across this whisked, churned and cauterised landscape can be, if you want to really appreciate Loch Lomond’s charms in full panoramic splendour, you really have to hit the water.

Various ferry trips leave regularly from picturesque enclaves such as Tarbet and Balloch, with knowledgeable skippers providing passengers with an informative commentary. Our hour-long Cruise Loch Lomond jaunt took in everything from Rob Roy’s very literal man-cave on the ragged valley face to the colony of wallabies peacefully inhabiting one of the 30 or more islands on the loch.

Those fancying an even closer inspection of these marvellous lumps, humps and bumps should not hesitate to chart their own course. Adventure group Can You Experience hire out an extensive range of vessels at their Loch Lomond Shores base, from canoes and kayaks to sleek six-man power boats.

Loch Lomond Shores is also home to the tamer – and drier – exploratory option of the Sealife Centre. This three-level building’s star attraction is teenage turtle Cammy, who appears blissfully unaware that, as one of the world's longest-living animals, he’ll still be twisting and flapping long after many of the gawping shaved apes who point and stare have shed this mortal coil.

Yet even for creatures of Cammy’s exceptional lifespan, all things must pass. For humans, a unique awareness of the transitory nature of our surroundings has many of us instinctively reaching to the stars for explanation or answers. Yet, there must be an inner humbling of self to contemplate the unimaginable seismic shifts which shaped this place millions of years before our flicker of consciousness evolved to appreciate it.

The Celts didn’t believe in some golden-gated paradise in the clouds, but simply hoped that the mythical low road would guide their dead back to the wilds of Scotland. Perhaps I’m also away with the fairies, but as I rejoined the mundane rigidity of the M8 and watched mighty Ben Lomond shrink to a dot in the rearview mirror, it became quite obvious that heaven really is a place on Earth.

William Bain was a guest of the Loch Lomond Holiday Park, which provides family-friendly luxury accommodation complete with spectacular views, swingpark and shop. Prices start from £599 for four nights. Save up to £490 on a three bed Lomond Royal for four nights in August. See www.argyllholidays.com or call 0845 459 9772.

5 things to do at Loch Lomond side

Cruise the loch: Enjoyable and informative cruises operate daily from April to November from Tarbet and Luss Piers. Trips coupled with cycle hire give you the opportunity to explore some of the hidden gems in the national park. See www.cruiselochlomond.co.uk, call 01301 702356 or email office@cruiselochlomond.co.uk.

Dine in style: Loch Fyne Restaurant & Oyster Bar offers freshly caught seafood at a breathtaking location. Family-friendly and a favourite haunt of visiting celebrities. See www.lochfyne.com, Twitter: @lochfyneoystersor or telephone 01499 600 482.

Break for tea: Home On The Loch is a welcoming and friendly cafe near Tarbet with a great menu for lunches and quick bites. Home baking is a speciality. See www.facebook.com/pages/Home-on-the-Loch/761770053930781

Observe nature: The Sea Life Centre is home to over 1500 creatures including Scotland's only giant green sea turtle and a playful family of otters. Book tickets online in advance at visitsealife.com/loch-lomond and save 30 per cent.

Get outdoors: Can You Experience is a reputable outdoor activity operator offering a wide range of water and land-based activities such as boating, abseiling and hiking. See www.canyouexperience.com, call 01389 756251 or go to www.facebook.com/pages/Can-You-Experience-Loch-Lomond/355468679782