TIME, apparently, doesn’t exist. Einstein once outraged his peers by suggesting the universe may not have cogs, coils or pound shop batteries round the back – that infinity doesn't shoot straight and reality is only determined by whomever observes it.

Perhaps in a gesture of solidarity with quantum physicists, no clocks hang on the walls at Gamefield country house. It could be an attempt to divert attention from the hurried metronome stomp of our species’ march towards the cliff face – or maybe nothing in Argos suited the decor.

What is certain, however, is that time’s flow is absorbed at a leisurely osmotic rate in nearby Crieff, a Perthshire market town in which the chip shop closes at 9pm.

I mention this wee aside not as a negative. Hailing from a village where takeaway lights attract growling flesh clusters of adolescent disaffection like moths to a flame, it certainly strikes me as a progressive step. As my gran often said, only drunks and gluttons eat chips by moonlight.

Observing the town’s sparkling streets, its bustling businesses, old-world camaraderie and twinkly-eyed teens scouting for the next old lady to help across the road, one wonders if local hero Ewan McGregor heard his first swear word on the Trainspotting shoot.

Crieff truly is an attractive town, and it was ideally located just a couple of country miles from our destination, the historic Ochtertyre Estate, where the breathtaking panoramic splendour attracts walkers, climbers and picnickers from all over the country.

The town is ideally placed for Perthshire's attractions – which include stellar views over Loch Monzievaird, mountain climbing, trekking, golfing on one of the numerous courses – most notably Gleneagles – local distillery tours or castle visits.

Nearby Dunkeld's stunning cathedral on the banks of the River Tay is also a popular draw and the pretty town of Pitlochry is acclaimed for its theatre and warm hospitality.

Nestled in the heart of Perthshire's scenic majesty lies Gamefield. Co-designed by owner William Frame and esteemed Scottish architect James Denholm, the house was constructed upon a former monastery site – its lofty hillside perch perfectly pinpointed to soak in the patchwork panorama of Crieff and beyond.

Built as a family home in 2002, the property is now run as a luxury self-catering establishment to host all manner of celebrations, sabbaticals and weddings – as well as weekend breaks and holidays.

Upon my party’s arrival on a snowy January afternoon, an automatic gate detected the presence of my clapped out Peugeot and, understandably, appeared to hesitate before creaking open.

Spirits, which had been rendered lower than a snake’s belly due to a broken heater and dodgy Sat Nav advice, were soon lifted by William Frame's mother-in-law Audrey, who serves as  concierge to the property. Her greeting instantly made us feel like old friends, with the crackling dance of a blazing log fire in the grand hallway sealing the atmosphere of warmth and occasion. We were home, it seemed.

A stunning serpentine staircase coiled towards a spacious upstairs hallway which harboured five en-suite bedrooms, each one impressively individual and stylistically distinctive.

But taking pride of place on Gamefield’s top floor is the grand central bedroom, its lush carpet cheekily garnished by a genuine cowhide rug which lies ominously beside the room’s Queen-size bed.

Once Audrey’s brief tour had concluded and we bade farewell, I closed the door on the gathering blizzard and strode valiantly upon the heated marble-effect flooring into the living area - confident a Shining-esque meltdown in this isolated sprawl was unlikely. I’d maintain my sanity by activating the dormant DNA of my Neolithic ancestors, accessing a hitherto unknown ability as a fire whisperer.

It’s a chore I’m sure would quickly lose its novelty, but keeping several blazes burning brightly for the duration of our stay was a primal pleasure – particularly as we'd been generously supplied with several rainforests worth of timber.

From the surround-sound Bose systems individually tailored for each room, to the dreamy, leather-chaired lounge with its wide-ranging library and the spacious, hi-spec family entertainment area, the emphasis on luxurious comfort was apparent throughout. And as Gamefield steadily filled with friends and family over our weekend residence, the house also revealed itself as the perfect party pad for entertaining on a grand scale.

Kitchens are generally the most bustling room at soirees, and the centrepiece of ours was an impressive Aga cooker, where several piping hot caverns rapidly fired out hearty bites and nibbles for the masses congregating around it.

Although not recommended after gorging oneself on pizza and pasta, there was also plenty of splashing room for at least six adults in the giant hot tub at the bottom of the garden. An adjoining wooden summer house exists as a charming-looking facility for changing and relaxing, boasting recliners, a sauna-worthy wood burning stove and portable fridge.

Inspired by the Frame family’s years of globetrotting, Gamefield’s interiors are tastefully adorned with trinkets and treasures from their travels, and the property’s muted walls display several impressive bespoke and contemporary art pieces.

Gamefield’s intriguing architecture was inspired by the popular wave of "grand design" new build homes being constructed in Australia and Canada at the turn of the century – properties which were built into sloping landscapes in order to complement the natural environment and create impressive vantage points for skygazing.

And in the early hours of Sunday morning, as I lounged in Gamefield's hot tub, fizzing like an Alka-Seltzer, I lay back and faced the stars. My mind wrestled the absurdity of their light departing on a journey to my retinas before any human eyes existed.

I realised then I was staring directly at not just the only clock at Gamefield, but the only true measure of time that exists - and it felt like freedom.

 

William Bain was a guest of Gamefield Luxury Self-Catering, Perthshire See www.gamefield.co.uk

 

 

5 things to do around Crieff

GET into the spirit of the occasion and take a tour at the deeply impressive Glenturret Distillery in Crieff. Novices and whisky enthusiasts alike will delight in the fascinating distillery tours, with a chance to see the world’s largest bottle of whisky and enjoy a wee dram or three. See experience.thefamousgrouse.com or call 01764 656565.

 

DINE out at the wonderful Barley Bree Restaurant in in nearby Muthill. All the family will enjoy the chic interiors, comfy rooms, amiable staff and delicious food of this former 16th-century coaching inn. A small family-run affair and very popular locally, its name derives from a Robert Burns poem. See www.barleybree.com or call 01764 681451.

 

VISIT the Comrie Croft, Scotland's award-winning "green destination", which takes in a farmstead hostel, group accommodation, camping, walking trails, wildlife viewing and some of the best compact mountain-biking in the country. See www.comriecroft.com or call 01764 670140.

 

STRAP yourself in for fun at Nae Limits, one of Scotland’s most innovative activity centres, offering a wide range of water and land adventure activities in bonny Highland Perthshire. On offer are stag do activities, family fun and team building events. See www.naelimits.co.uk or call 0845 017 8177.

 

DISCOVER a chocoholic's paradise at the Highland Chocalatier, Grandtully, near Aberfeldy. All these delicious goods are produced by Iain Burnett and friendly, knowledgeable staff will help you choose from the impressive ranges displayed. The shop is also a four star visitor attraction and consists of a free multi-media exhibition. See www.highlandchocolatier.com or call 01887 840775