WHAT’S your most loathed household task? There’s so much to choose from but from a straw poll of friends over the years, ironing seems to win this dubious honour. Of course there’s so many more possible choices of things we have to do but hate doing. Washing the dishes, putting them away, hoovering, sweeping and mopping the floor, giving your kids a lift, picking them back up afterwards, cutting the grass, emptying the bins. Our life is full of what we consider menial tasks, to be endured as necessary evils.

The human mind is easily irritated. In contrast a month or so ago my wife and I spotted a female blackbird in our garden one day gathering straw and bits of grass to make a nest. We watched it carefully and saw exactly where the nest was, in our back garden beside the neighbour’s garage. She had spent hours of work constructing it. Her male partner was always perched on a nearby higher branch, presumably watching out for potential attacks on his partner. A few days later for some unknown reason she felt she had to abandon the nest.

Later that same week we saw her again, straw in her mouth, this time going into thick vines at the side of our front garden. Same process; days of hard work, her partner up high ensuring the couple and their future offspring would be as safe as possible. Finally it was complete and they’re still happily there.

Can you imagine a human response to having to redo a task like that? Moaning about the fact that they had to do double the amount of work. Probably bemoaning that all the best materials had now been used up. Blaming each other for the fact that the first nest wasn’t safe enough. Blaming each other for not doing enough work. Cursing fate for how hard their lives had turned out to be.

It’s a simple thing to say that if a task has to be done just go and do it and stop whinging about it. It’s a lot harder to do in practice. Our minds are programmed to moan, to get annoyed at trivial things, to try to pin the blame on someone else for anything untoward that happens. In the animal kingdom we are the champion moaning-faced gits.

But it’s not our fault, or rather it’s our mind’s fault. Asked if you would choose to complain or moan about everyday chores, most people would say no, and yet that’s what most of us do. It’s an automatic reaction, made into a habit by sheer scale of repetition over years if not decades.

The problem with this is that every time we automatically react like this we strengthen the habit, making it even more likely that we’ll react the same way in future. It’s the classic vicious circle. And lest you think that it’s no big deal, consider the fact that the more your mind gets used to moaning or complaining about little everyday things, the more likely it is to spread to other matters too. This is how us males slowly evolve into grumpy old men (and I’d suggest women are not immune to it either).

Moreover, mindfulness reminds us forcefully that we can only experience the wonder of being alive in the present moment, the fleeting passage of a brief snippet of time. If we spend precious moments moaning these are wasted, and wasted forever. We can’t retrieve them. We don’t get a second crack at those moments. Finally, they run out. No more moments.

So what should we do about ironing, washing dishes, cutting the grass? Just notice the physical activity itself. The left-right repetitive motion of the iron over the clothes, the skill of the hand-eye co-ordination that means you can do this fairly effortlessly, perhaps even in time the sheer peaceful – even enjoyable – feeling in your mind when you are actually undertaking a simple task. In other words being mindful of chores can literally become simultaneously relaxing and nurturing. Paying attention to the actual task itself means you are exercising the mental skill of mindfulness. This brings you mental health benefits, sharpens your intellect, and even makes you a more bearable person to those around you, all while you are just mopping the floor.

Life feels precious when you see that it is not infinite. One day you won’t be able to experience what it is like to notice an iron gliding skilfully over a cotton t-shirt and making its creases smooth. As Joni Mitchell put it “You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone”. Mindfulness demands that right here, right now – you do know what you’ve got. Notice it. Appreciate it. Love it. Be grateful that you have it. Thank luck, fate, chance, God or whatever that you have it. Appreciate your life even when you are cleaning out the toilet bowl.

The more you notice, without inner commentary, without moaning, the more you come to love your life. Life itself. The very realisation of being alive in a moment. And when the moans come up, as they will, don’t get annoyed at your mind, because getting annoyed is just creating another moan. Don’t suppress it either because this causes the feeling to return strengthened. Instead just gently let it fade away, by focusing on the breath, or back to the task. Then just enjoy your work.

Martin Stepek is founder of TenforZen, offering guided mindfulness sessions in handy, 10 minutes a day, audio courses. Author of four books, he is frequently asked to speak on mindfulness, his remarkable family heritage, and on business. See tenforzen.co.uk and www.martinstepek.co.uk or email martin@tenforzen.co.uk