ON one hand yours truly is an exact fit for the pages of Drive. I have long prattled on to anyone who’ll listen about matters motoring and enjoy nothing more than whiling away a weekend fettling the household’s irritatingly small fleet. I’m also a long-time member of the Institute of Advanced Motorists, though not an active one.
On the other I have never driven less since the turn of the millennium, and no, I haven’t lost my licence (it’s as clean as a whistle, thanks for asking). Rather I have successfully navigated the tortuous maze of learning to ride a motorcycle and since March have almost without exception done my daily commute on a Suzuki SV650S, powered by a 645cc V-twin, in lieu of my Saab 93 Viggen, whose two front wheels are propelled by a 2300cc four-cylinder lump. The difference, as you can well imagine, is astonishing.
The experience has taught me a multitude of lessons, but for the purpose of brevity I will focus on three.
First, a bike guaranteed to bring a blinding beam to your face can be bought for a fraction of the price of its four-wheeled counterpart. Better still, there’s much less potential for hidden gremlins on a motorcycle – a car, no matter the trustworthiness of the source, can be riddled with faults or looming issues which will have you fumbling for your wallet more often than Joey Barton at Ladbrokes. Often it can be impossible for even the most hawk-eyed and car-savvy buyer to spot a fundamental problem that will provoke an agonising haemorrhage of wonga.
Second, I’m saving a fortune. Free parking at work, 160 miles to a tank (which only costs £16 to fill, even with super-unleaded), £85 annual road tax, third-party insurance around £260 – what’s not to like?
Third, and this is the downside, it costs a staggering amount to get a category-A licence. If you’ve ever thought about doing it, read on.
First you need to take your CBT (compulsory basic training) – £130 – before you can take lessons on a 125cc, which you will need to do before any reputable riding school will allow you anywhere near a 650cc machine.
Then, after you’ve spent many hours mastering the art of not dying or having a meltdown while loosely attached to a two-wheeled rocket, you must pass not one, not two, but three tests.
First up is the theory exam (compulsory, regardless of how long you have held your car licence for). After you’ve passed you can then sit the off-road module one test, whereby you prove you’re capable of controlling a motorcycle. After this you progress to the module two exam, which consists of 40 minutes riding on public roads with an accompanying examiner.
All told, I reckon I threw the best part of £1200 at lessons and test fees, and not far short of that sum on gear – boots, gloves (summer and winter), helmet, textile jacket and trousers, leathers, rucksack, neck warmer and so on. Add all of this to the costs of the bike – £2200 – and miscellaneous fluids and accessories, and even an innumerate dunce such as me can appreciate it’ll take a few years of riding to offset the initial outlay.
Will it be worth it? I think we all know the answer to that one.
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