Fruin Farm
Glen Fruin, Helensburgh (fruinfarm.co.uk, 01389 850727)
WE’VE crunched over the sizeable car park, past the terrifyingly deep pond and on through the drizzle towards the farmhouse and I’m thinking, that’s not what I imagine a farmhouse to look like.
Right at that very point a sheep turns its little blank face and shouts: “Baaa” in a what-you-looking-at-fatty-way and a llama thing pokes its long neck over a fence and stares insolently at us.
Now, I’m not saying the animals are there precisely for the full farm feel-o-rama that’s somewhat lacking in the modern-looking surroundings but they certainly help. They kind of whet the appetite too.
As does the smell of woodsmoke that hits the senses as we walk into a crafty, piney, bare-tabled dining room which, at the end, has fairly stunning views down the glen and up towards the Trossachs. If that’s indeed what we’re looking at.
I’m pretty sure Loch Lomond is out there somewhere in this evening’s full-fat Scotch mist, I inform my son, who momentarily looks up from his phone and nods. Sadly, for me anyway, neither Sean the Sheep nor the llama thing – which I’ve been informed by my scoffing family is actually an alpaca – are on the menu.
That menu, at least, is short and pithy and presented by a man who may just be the world’s most enthusiastic waiter.
“Well?” he’ll say later, bouncing up to the table Tigger-like later as I take a mouthful of the braised ox cheek. “Well?” he’ll say again, body frozen in anticipation as I look up startled.
“Er, yeah … Very good,” I’ll mumble and stumble.
Actually, it is excellent. Ox cheek, being one of those of-the-moment dishes, is usually braised to buggery, as my father would have said, and dry and disappointing. This is succulent and really very nicely flavoured by the stock, with a good mash and some crisp green beans.
We ordered the hake fillet, too (though I really want to see the farm pond it came from), with a herb crust, puy lentils and plump rings of merguez sausage. And a chicken supreme with potato rosti, port jus and a spiky, tart caponata. Both decent stuff with plenty of flavour.
I particularly liked the pea and basil risotto that Debs had to start: it’s all cheesy parmesan tuille and the simple but winning combination of fresh peas and properly cooked rice with just a waft of basil. In fact I eat hers and slide my celeriac soup with chives and truffle across the table on the grounds it’s too bland and creamy for me, and tastes of little but truffle oil. It’s also tepid, a fault I would have raised with Tigger had my wife not told me to be quiet and eat the risotto.
And actually, by now I can see two steaming bowls of the soup being placed before the guys sitting by the door so they must have got the pot up to full heat. I only ordered the soup because of my point-blank refusal ever to pay £9 for a starter comprising three scallops – put it down to being brought up in a house with a glut of them – and because Luca had got in first with the wood pigeon salad, Puddledub bacon and honey dressing.
I don’t know if a sharper dressing, maybe raspberry vinaigrette, would be better, but apart from the honey sweetness the pigeon is perfectly cooked and at £6.50 an absolute bargain.
A warm chocolate sponge that looks like its just been tipped out the steamer, served with a nice vanilla ice-cream on top, finishes us off.
All that remains to do is pay the bill, pause to look at the art for sale in the hallway, read the mission statement leaflet on the wall and wonder: where’s the stuff from the farm on the menu? Where’s that hearty seasonal hewn-from-the-soil sensation? A bit of that and they could be on to something here.
Menu: Hake, ox cheek, merguez sausage and chicken. Simple, straightforward but sorely underselling their location when it comes to ingredients. 3/5
Atmosphere: Stunning views down the glen saves them from veering towards too much crafty, piney modern. The llama thing adds to the atmosphere too. 4/5
Service: Very enthusiastic, cheery and clearly pretty proud of what they do, especially when it comes to that ox cheek. 4/5
Price: Wood pigeon salad at £6.50, roast chicken at £14. It has it’s moments and is generally good value. 4/5
Food: That ox cheek was the dish of the night and worth a visit alone, but they undersell themselves by not having any specials and not banging the drum loudly enough about local food. 7/10
Total: 22/30
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