MANY’S the Saturday afternoon spent in face-numbing horizontal sleet, shuffling along in a switchbacked queue, waiting for a crotch-tugging tow to haul my tired body up a piebald mountainside. Alas, such are the all-too-regular hazards of being an occasional skier in Scotland.

It was nothing short of a miracle, then, that the morning light found me waking in the heart of a winter wonderland, a landscape spied through my bedroom window that was entirely dominated by majestic Alpine peaks and swathed in deep, fresh, powdered snow.

All this on my chalet doorstep and it was only the very beginning of the French ski season.

I’d arrived in Val d’Isere via a three-hour private coach transfer from Geneva the night before. Along with its near neighbour Tignes, Val sits within L’Espace Killy – named after World Cup racing hero Jean-Claude Killy who learned to ski here – and is not only the highest snowsports playgound on the planet, but this morning is living up to its reputation for excellent snow fall.

It may be the best known of France’s ski resorts, with an attractive mix of on and off-piste skiing, but Val’s old-fashioned charm remains comfortingly intact. Despite the modern and vibrant nightlife – many of the bars and clubs, such as Dick’s Tea Room have become tourist attractions in their own right – the resort retains an almost but not quite twee sense of the traditional in the humble architecture of its wooden lodges and random intertwining of its narrow streets.

Immediately, it makes me feel that I’m in the very best place to seek skiing perfection . . . and that’s before I’ve clunk-clicked my boots, strapped on the planks and looked up and up and up the mountainsides to see the myriad meandering pistes and vertigo-inducing vertical runs.

Unfortunately, perfection proves something of a vaulting ambition. Skiing can be about adrenalin-fuelled, lip-curling speed. It can be about sashaying, hip-swivelling grace and agility. It can be about star-shaped leaps and turns and all kinds of airborne acrobatics. Or, when it comes to yours truly, it can be about falling down a lot and laughing through gobfuls of snow.

Thankfully, my guide and tutor was both encouraging and understanding in equal measure. A member of the local TDC Ski outfit, Andre was impeccably Italian, terribly professional and unwaveringly patient. He even managed to produce a couple of spectacular cartwheels himself, just to make me feel better.

In fact, TDC’s highly recommended guides pride themselves on helping mere mortals improve their snow skills without the pressure and regimen of a formal school environment.

It seemed to work, even for someone like me, who skis with the precision and panache of a splay-footed Yeti: if I was still horizontal in the snow much of the time, at least the inbetween spells spent upright grew longer. I even managed to unwittingly follow our small group of intrepid derring doers down a black-flagged run . . . and the only thing that was permanently damaged was the elastic in my so-called waterproof breeks.

Next time I’m on the slopes with pros, I really should bring the right gear: there’s nothing more debilitating than being caught in a sudden blizzard without goggles and in supermarket sallopettes that offer all the waterproofing qualities of wrapping your legs in newspaper.

Tight-lipped, blue-faced perseverance was the order of the day and it paid dividends as we criss-crossed our way from mountain to mountain, piste to piste, with every thrill and spill growing in confidence. The slopes proved remarkably uncluttered, spread over the flanks of Bellevarde, Solaise and the high Col de l’Iseran, accessed via Val or the satellite hamlets of La Daille and Le Fornet. The main lift stations are all linked by a free shuttle bus, which is how I returned heroically to base camp.

A little soggy, a little dizzy, I’d survived my first day and so it was back to the luxury of my VIP Larch Suite in the Aspen Lodge, where in slippers and heavy-eyed serenity I warmed heart and belly with homemade cakes and tea – thank you mine chalet hostess, Milly – followed by an invigorating back and shoulder kneading – thank you, Pamper Off Piste masseuse.

Served a three-course dinner, poured one glass too many of fine wine by the log fire, it was time for bed . . . where I dreamed of being catapulted, skis and all, clean off the mountainside and into a giant fondue – I blame my late-night interest in the cheese board.

I’d like to report that my second day’s skiing showed a vast improvement in skill and aptitude. In fact, the only flamboyant manoeuvres were those made by our lunch host and singer, Kelly, at La Fruitiere restaurant, located high on the slopes next door to Val’s La Folie Douce nightclub.

What Kelly lacked in body mass index and lyrics he made up for in vocal and Spandex-legged gymnastics.

I was laughing so hard it was all I could do not to drown in my two huge jars of delicious onion soup – one for the white, one for the brown.

After lunch it was straight home for me – after just a day and a half my limbs were aching, but in that good way of exercise-induced fatigue, while the incessant d’Iserian hospitality and Milly’s homebaking had transformed my body into an overstuffed vegetarian roulade.

Still, it would have been churlish not to sample some of Val’s infamous apres piste and repair later that evening to the aforementioned Dick’s Tea Bar – there to share generously in a flagon of ice-chilled vodka so gargantuan and potent that it had the physical presence and destructive powers of an abandoned Scud missile.

I think we can safely draw a veil of charity over the level of skiing prowess that followed next morning. Suffice to say, a faceful of fresh snow has a wonderfully invigorating effect.

TRAVEL NOTES

Dominic Ryan was a guest of VIP SKI, which has 23 chalets in Val d’Isere. Aspen Lodge is in the centre of the resort and makes up four of the accommodation options. The Larch Suite sleeps six in three en-suite bedrooms and has a living and dining area and a chalet host.

VIP SKI prices for seven nights start from £839 per person based on two sharing. Included are return flights from London Gatwick, with departures from Glasgow or Edinburgh available, transfers, accommodation, breakfast, afternoon tea, three-course evening meal on six nights followed by cheese board and coffee and mints, wine, drinks and canapes on the first and last evening. Also included are ski and snowboard hosting service on three days, towels, midweek bed linen change, toiletries and newspapers. Visit vip-chalets.com or call 0844 557 3119.

Ski pack items can be pre-booked: Lift passes for the Espace Killy area (Val d’Isere and Tignes) start from £250 with child and senior lift passes starting at £200.

Ski hire starts at £155 for boots and skis or snowboard with children’s hire starting at £69 for skis and boots.