CELTIC manager Ronny Deila has told his players to improve their diet, so he will be interested in the updated biography of legendary Irish player Roy Keane who latterly played for Celtic.
Roy writes: "My first game for Celtic was Clyde, away, in the Scottish Cup. We were beaten 2-1. It was a nightmare.
"When I got on the bus John Hartson, a really good guy, was already sitting there and he was eating a packet of crisps - with a fizzy drink. I said to myself, 'Welcome to Hell'."
These days Celtic can only dream of having a player like Hartson, with or without crisps.
That's the spirit
DEEPLY sad to hear of the death of London Times editor in Scotland, Angus Macleod, who loved writing about politics and who also loved helping us lesser journalists when we strayed into politics. Latterly he eschewed strong drink but a former colleague reminds me of being on a press trip with Angus to Cumbria where the local mayor was droning on and on at a dinner, with the bored guests only being offered water to drink. Angus picked up the menu and told the waitress: "Consommé with sherry - and hold the consommé. Steak and brandy sauce and hold the steak. Sherry trifle and hold the trifle. And bring them all right now please." The penny dropped, and drinks were quickly produced to everyone's relief.
In the Nick of time
THE LibDem conference was still on in Glasgow yesterday. BBC radio reporter Louise Stewart excitedly put on Twitter: "Nick Clegg not executed on stage until 1.20pm."
She added soon after: "Apologies. I meant of course not expected on stage until 1.20 pm - blame predictive texting."
Divided he'll fall
WE wondered what the state of Westminster politics is these days. James Martin explained it to us: "If the Coalition Government ends, David Cameron won't have a Clegg to stand on."
Going Dutch
DUTCH rail operator Abellio has won the franchise to run ScotRail. We just think it's a pity that Abellio changed its name from its previous incarnation which would have gone down a treat over here - NedRailways.
Canned laughter
A GLASGOW reader swears to us he was in an Oban restaurant where an American visitor asked if the fish soup was freshly made. "Oh yes," replied the waitress. "The tin was only opened today."
She did add that she was joking, however.
Tipple tattle
WE often comment on the differences between Glasgow and Edinburgh. Reader Jean Miller was at the Edinburgh Food Festival where she signed up to become a member of discount supplier Costco, and received a free bottle of wine. A week later she went to Costco's Glasgow outlet rather than the Edinburgh one and tells us: "The cheery chatty ladies there fell about with incredulity that we had been given wine. 'Not here' they said. 'The manager wouldn't approve of that, not with the alchohol problem that the west of Scotland has'. It would have been a free apple pie instead."
Decidely ratty
A COLLEAGUE tells us he heard a chap in a Glasgow pub tell his mates: "My boss asked me to ratify a contract for him. So I made paper ears for it, constructed a tail for it from elastic bands, and then put it round the bins at the back."
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