IF you are already celebrating Easter you will know that last Sunday was Palm Sunday, commemorating when Jesus rode into Jerusalem.

Richard Fowler in Kirkwall, Orkney, tells us: "The lady giving the children's address at our church service asked, 'Today has a special name. Do you know what it is?'

"As she was met with silence and heads being shaken, she said, 'I'll give you a clue. Two words. First word...' and raised her hand, palm towards the children. At that point one child yelled excitedly, "High five!'"

Call me maybe

COPING with new technology, continued. A reader swears to us that her neighbour told her: "My daughter texted me saying 'Call me ASAP'. but I think I'll just stick to calling her Fiona."

Being sheepish

WE always enjoy giving the Duke of Edinburgh a mention, no matter how tangentially. Says reader Allan Cook after our under-age drinking yarns: "Three of us were doing our Duke of Edinburgh Gold Award hike but ended up running late for our check-in at Forgandenny, Perthshire.

"On the basis of 'hung for a sheep as a lamb' we visited a hostelry in Dunning and ordered lager. The publican clocked us but did not hesitate to pour. 'Aye lads what's going on?' he asked and we sheepishly told the tale of being late.

"The unexpected responses was, 'No problem. Have another on the house and I'll run you along in my car'. We thought the Duke of Edinburgh would be proud of our initiative as we clocked in with three minutes to spare."

Name in lights

OUR story about being spotted in a newspaper, reminds David Gardner: "A classmate in Lanarkshire in the sixties, when he was 15, was interviewed by STV outside a chip shop, fag in hand, giving his informed opinion on the forthcoming general election, and featured in the teatime news for all to see.

"The Heidi had him bang to rights for truanting and smoking, but he became a legend at the same time."

Unrefined behaviour

THE £130m luxury yacht of Grangemouth oil refinery owner Jim Ratcliffe is currently berthed in Greenock, which is a bit of a change from hanging around the Med. It reminds us of the chap further round the Clyde Coast at Millport who has a more modest yacht named Vengeance. It seems he had taken out a loan to buy it, and when it was finally paid off he went around town wearing a T-shirt with the slogan: "Vengeance is mine!"

What a mug

A COLLEAGUE wanders over to tell us: "Do you know that you're fifty times more likely to be mugged in Glasgow than in New York?"

He then added: "But that's because you don't live in New York."

Clubbing together

A READER on the bus into Glasgow this week heard a young chap discuss with a pal a visit to a city centre club at the weekend.

"A girl at the bar asked me if I thought she had too much make-up on," he recounted.

"I told her it depends on whether she was wanting to kill Batman or not."

Weighty issues

WATCHING the weight is such a dilemma.

A reader heard a woman in a city centre restaurant this week, having lunch with her chums, look at the menu then tell her pal: "Will you share a bowl of chips with me so I don't hate myself afterwards?"