SCOTTISH stereotypes continued.

Writer Clare Archibald from Burntisland was on a train heading to England when she observed: "Old drunk guy on train who keeps smoking in the toilets responds to his final warning from the guard with, 'But I'm a Glaswegian'. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry."

MILAN fans were in Glasgow yesterday for their Europa Cup clash with Celtic. As reader John Mulholland observed: "Nice touch in the Griffin Bar in Bath Street. Some Inter Milan supporters were there before the match and bar owner Bobsie Mullen played the Italian National Anthem on the sound system. Every Italian stood up proudly, hand-on-heart and sang every single word."

The match of course clashed with the tedious/exciting EastEnders episode on the BBC revealing who killed the character Lucy Beale. Nicola Young tells us that earlier in the day a supporter going to the game tweeted the club: "Hi Celtic FC. Is there any chance of putting EastEnders on the big screen?"

OTHER sports news is reports that the 2022 World Cup finals in Qatar will be moved to the winter months because of the horrific summer heat. As the cheeky chaps at Irish bookmakers Paddy Power put it: "Looks like the 2022 World Cup is going to be played in winter. But how exactly would it work? This is the timetable - November 18, World Cup in Qatar begins. December 1, Group stages end - England players go home. December 18, someone good wins it."

ANDY BRYSON tells us: "Never thought I would actually see this in print, but here it is from this week's Ardrossan and Saltcoats Herald. It states inside: "Due to unforeseen circumstances, the psychic night with Sally Buxton at Ardeer Recreation Bowling Club on Friday 27 February is cancelled."

TALKING of newspaper reports, James Hinton sends us a cutting from a local newspaper in Connecticut, USA, which includes the dreadfully sad tale in its police column: "A man reported that a squirrel was running in circles in David Drive and was not sure if it was sick or had been hit by a car. An officer responded and as he drove into the street he ran over the squirrel."

POINT to ponder. A Bearsden reader is still thinking about the observation he heard a young woman make on the train into Glasgow the other day. She looked at the back of her hand then told her pal: "Just imagine how much time you would save over the year if we were born with red nails."

NOT everyone is impressed by the latest must-have items. A reader at a Renfrewshire golf club was surprised when one of the older members declared: "I have a selfie stick."

But he then added: "Whenever I see someone taking one, I hit them with it."

A COLLEAGUE wanders over to interrupt us with: "My girlfriend threatened to leave me because of my obsession with the sixties pop group The Monkees. I thought she was joking.

"And then I saw her face."

Pic capt:

Says George Begrie from Ardrossan: "Saw this shop sign while on holiday in Lanzarote last week. Perhaps the local tourist board use it to describe a holiday there."