WE asked for your starting yoonie stories, and all we got back from one former student was blasphemy.

He recalled: "At the end of my first few months I was no longer impressed with the Biblical story of Jesus turning water into wine, as I had managed in just a few short weeks to turn my entire student loan into vodka."

Apologies for that.

Red-light zone

INCIDENTALLY, Lachie Macdonald's tale of jumping up and down in the road in the middle of the night to make the traffic lights change colour reminds a reader: "Perhaps 1960s traffic lights in Edinburgh were more easily influenced than those Lachie encountered in Dundee. In Edinburgh we didn't have to dance but rather just wait until a car approached then dig a heel sharply into the rubber pad.

"Result, red light on, which annoyed car drivers no end but amused us intoxicated students staggering home from the Union after failing to 'pull a burd'."

How we laughed

SIBLING rivalry was being discussed when a colleague declared: "My brother and I laugh at how competitive we were as kids.

"But I laugh more."

In Nick of time

SO naturally thoughts turned to amusement when it was announced that all three Westminster party leaders, Messrs Cameron, Miliband and Clegg were all coming to Scotland today to steady the nerves of the No campaign. Someone in a Glasgow pub last night asked: "I can understand Cameron and Miliband, but why Clegg?"

Inevitably someone further up the bar replied: "Someone's got to carry their bags."

Power of three

OTHER reactions included Jake Lambert asking: "How much did the Yes campaign pay to get Cameron, Clegg and Miliband to go up to Scotland? Amazing marketing I have to admit."

And a reader in England wondered: "If all three are away to Scotland, does that mean we can all bunk off work?"

But we prefer the sheer whimsy of television comedy fan Ian Power who asked: "Cameron, Miliband and Clegg are heading for Scotland. I wonder whether they'll be taking the old bathtub with them?"

Love letter

MEANWHILE someone in England e-mails us: "Dear Scotland, If you go, that's it. We don't want drunken phone calls in a few months saying what a huge mistake it was. Regards, England."

Historically speaking

DOORS Open Day in Glasgow in a few days and Isabel Fraser tells us: "On reading the programme I was intrigued to find an invitation to DROP IN at Provan Hall archaeology excavations."

It's all in the name

WE mentioned a possible Scottish name for the new Royal baby and an Edinburgh reader passes on: "Many years ago a couple I knew named their daughter Liberty Caledonia. I wonder what she'll be voting next week?"

Hair today ...

CELEBRITY gossip and we see that retired singer Tina Turner was holidaying at Gleneagles Hotel this week. That's the second time Tina's name has cropped up in the past few days. After the death of stand-up Joan Rivers a magazine listed her best celebrity put downs which included: "Madonna is so hairy. When she lifted her arm, I thought it was Tina Turner in her armpit."