SAYS reader Eric Macdonald:

"I have just been informed by my dear wife that her friend's grand-daughter is off on a 'backtracking' year out. She'll not get very far then."

Bright lights of the city

WE asked for your starting yoonie stories and Lachie Macdonald recalls arriving in Dundee in the sixties to study dentistry from the island of Lismore which did not even have a set of traffic lights. A senior took the new students out for a drink which led to Lachie being found by two police officers at 1am jumping up and down on the rubber strip in the middle of the street which controlled the traffic lights, as Lachie tried to get them to change colour.

Rather than being huckled by the police, one of the officers merely told him: "Go home and get to your bed." Lachie stopped dancing on the road and took their advice.

Any more student tales?

The separation game

THE referendum continued. Emma Pollock tells us of two semi-detached houses in Glasgow where one resident has a No sticker in the window, and the neighbour has Yes stickers plastered over the windows. What cheered Emma up is that they also have a banner stretching across both houses which reads: "We love our neighbours."

Arguing the toss

AND as the polls show the vote is very close, reader John Delaney in Lochwinnoch worries: "So what happens it it's a draw, a dead-heat? And if they decide who is the winner by tossing a coin, which currency will they use?"

Positive negatives

MEANWHILE out on the streets, reader Michael Nolan says: "In Carluke I was accosted by a young enthusiastic No campaigner who pushed a leaflet into my face whilst asking if I would help the cause. I declined politely by saying, 'No Thanks!' From the look on his puzzled face, it was obvious it was what he wanted to hear, but not in the correct context."

Patter of tiny feet

NOW the prospect of another Royal baby has made people with too much time on their hands wonder if it will affect the referendum vote. As Sarah Vine in England commented: "Dear Scotland, Don't leave us now. Not with another baby to feed/clothe/bring up in a palace."

Or as Deborah Orr tells us: "Alex Salmond - I'm expecting twins."

We turn to the bookies to make sense of it all where we find one site which is quoting odds of 500/1 that the royal baby will be christened Caledonia.

Balance of Paddy Power

TALKING of bookies, Irish turf accountants Paddy Power are explaining the narrowing of the odds in the Scottish referendum. As it says on its website: "On one side, you've the Scottish nationalists - coming across like a downtrodden young wife who's been talking to strangers on the internet who've given her the confidence to rebel and stand on her own two feet.

"On the other, England/the Union playing the role of Sugar Daddy, warning her that she can have her freedom, but he'll turn off the tap and before too long she'll be destitute, gyrating around a pole for the titillation of Angela Merkel to make ends meet. Ya know - a lot like Ireland."

So now you know.

Going for old

OUR stories of getting older lead to a reader telling us: "First sign of old age is when your wife starts trusting you."