WE asked for your starting university stories and David Stubley in Prestwick recalls:

"I turned my grant cheque into beer tokens and consumed far too much in the Glasgow University men's union, staggered out, made my way to central station and climbed on a train for Croftfoot. The next thing I knew I was being thumped by a brush held by a cleaner who was sweeping the carriage. I discovered it was 3am and I was in Motherwell.

"With the confidence of youth I found my way to the Royal Mail sorting office and begged a lift back to Croftfoot from a van driver who was heading to Glasgow. Got home at 4.30. Oh happy days!"

Doctor No

DUNDEE West MP Jim McGovern picked up an estate agents' magazine in London en route to Westminster which had a picture of actors Michael Caine and Sean Connery from the film The Man Who Would Be King on the cover. Confusingly the magazine is called Better Together. Says Jim: "I don't know about Michael Caine's opinion of the referendum but I get the impression that Sean Connery might not be too happy with Better Together across his picture."

Water finding

UNEXPECTED outcomes of independence, continued. A statistician tells us: "If Scotland votes Yes, the average annual rainfall in the UK will decrease by 20cm."

Tartan special

MUCH merriment at the thought of the three Westminster party leaders all being in Scotland yesterday. A reader contacts us: "'Look,' Nick Clegg says to the manager of Glasgow B&Q. 'The PM has sent me to buy a tin of tartan paint and I'm not leaving until I get it'."

On the Fringe

OR as Nicholas Kay put it: "Cameron, Clegg and Miliband walk into an Edinburgh pub. The barman tells them, 'You comedians are weeks late - the Fringe is over'."

We'll drink to that

LOUISE Quinn tell us yesterday: "Just overheard a woman in Argyle Street saying she had to perform the Heineken Manoeuvre on her husband."

But give her the benefit of the doubt. She might just have been passing over a beer to him.

Reading up

SO what can you tell us about Facebook, asks an older reader. Well, we can pass on this observation - have you ever noticed that it is never your successful friends who post inspirational quotes on Facebook?

Basket case

A COLLEAGUE wanders over to tell us: "Don't put all your eggs in the one basket? Nice try, basket industry."

Polls apart

FINALLY, not sure if we should allow Alan Barlow in Paisley to get away with the following: "Thinking of the referendum reminded me of a very old joke.

"A man walks into a cemetery and comes across a chap prostrate across a grave, crying uncontrollably and shouting, 'Why did you go? Why did you leave?'

"The man sympathizes and asks if it was a very dear friend or relative, to which the chap replies, 'It was the wife's first husband'."

Blame the referendum, not us.