OUR story of the Swedish group First Aid Kit raving about Irn Bru while appearing in Scotland reminds Frank Murphy of American stand-up Rich Hall confiding to an audience in Paisley that he had been left alone with a two-litre bottle of Irn Bru in his dressing room before the gig. "Twenty minutes into his act he wondered why he had already used up an hour's worth of material," adds Frank.
STUCK in the snow continued. Says Matt Vallance: "During the terrible winter of 1962-3 a truck driver of my acquaintance was stuck for three days in a transport cafe somewhere around Brechin. When the snow ploughs finally cleared the road and he could drive onto Aberdeen, he claimed he travelled at ridiculous speed, having lifted the pot in a marathon game of nine-card brag, just as the snow-ploughs arrived - and he couldn't get out of their fast enough to safeguard his not-inconsiderable winnings."
A READER tells us her husband was applying to buy shares in the football club that he supports, but the application had to be countersigned by an Independent Financial Advisor. We wonder how many Independent Financial Advisors would think it was a good idea to buy shares in a football club. A tad cruelly our reader posed the question - who you would need to countersign a desire to buy shares in Rangers - a psychiatrist? Unfair, surely.
WE have not moved smartly into toilet stories from abroad, and Janice Stoddart tells us: "On a coach trip in southern Spain we made a toilet stop at a countryside café. When asked for a report on the facilities our fellow traveller said, 'It was an interesting arrangement. One toilet led off the other'."
BURNS Night on Sunday, and we note that the club Shanghai Scots, holding their night in said Chinese city, advertise the event as: "Come to our traditional Scottish Ball in honour of Sir Robert Burns' birthday." Good to see that at least in China he got the title he possibly deserved. Incidentally Shanghai Scots, a club set up in 1866 by ex-pats to play the English at cricket - has posted pictures of their last Burns Night which includes a chap riding a scooter around the dance floor, four people encased in blue and white body suits carrying what appears to be a body, and lots of smiling Chinese gentlemen in "See You Jimmy" hats, so sounds like a great night out.
TRYING to tell a funny story. We pass on advice from Adam Hess who tells us: "If your anecdote contains the phrase 'and then I said' then it probably isn't as good as you think it is."
PRIME Minister David Cameron visited Scotland and pledged more powers for the Scottish Parliament. Glasgow stand-up frankie Boyle wasn't overenthusiastic. As he put it: "Wandering round Glasgow today. Not much sign of Devo Max. Quite a few signs of Mad Max."
TODAY'S piece of whimsy comes from the Glasgow Comedy Festival - it's on in March - twitter account which tells us: "Fun fact: like Dracula, comedians can turn into bats, but choose not to, as they generally work nights."
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