BIG Orange Order Walk in Glasgow at the weekend. You either see it as a colourful affirmation of Protestant Christian faith, or something more sinister. We think comedy writer Brian Limond is in the latter camp as he commented: "Punish bigots by parading them through the city in daft costumes, with drums and whistles to draw attention to themselves. Oh wait."
THE Forth Bridge, that iconic cantilevered railway bridge, has just been named as a World Heritage Site. It reminds us of the tourist who heaped praise on crossing over the bridge on one of these holiday trip websites. He then added to be helpful: "Just to be clear though, the railway line goes straight across - you don't go up and down the giant triangles, which is a pity."
IT'S July so the acts at the Edinburgh Fringe next month are stepping up their campaigns to sell tickets. We like the whimsical nature of stand-up Rhys James, appearing at the Pleasance Courtyard who has urged people: "Instead of getting drunk at home and buying a paddling pool from Amazon, buy tickets to my show instead."
ENJOYING the tennis from Wimbledon just now? A reader points out: "BBC commentator Andrew Castle has been getting stick about his Wimbledon coverage, but you can't argue with his pedigree." The BBC had helpfully put on the screen while Castle, a former professional tennis player, was pontificating, that his career highlight was: "Reached third round at Queen's Club in 1986."
DAFT gag of the weekend? Ian Power who tells us: "I've just found a strange-looking mole on my chest.
"I wish the bloody cat would stop doing that!"
AN old friend of The Diary Stephen O'Neill, boss of Glasgow factoring company Newton Property, is to give his staff a longer lunch break to enjoy the sun when it gets too hot. Said Stephen: "Let's be honest, Glasgow tends to get the fuzzy end of the lollipop when it comes to heat waves so we've decided the minute the sun is out and and the temperature tops 18 degrees our whole team of 25 can add an extra 15 minutes to their lunch break to soak up some rays."
We can't help fearing that we'll ask the staff at the end of the summer how much they enjoyed it only to learn they never actually qualified to give it a shot.
A COLLEAGUE feels the need to wander over and interrupt us with: "Someone has left a huge lump of Play-Doh on my desk.
"I don't know what to make of it."
ALTHOUGH a lot of the good weather has passed us by in Scotland, a reader down south tells us it's been so hot that one or two office staff have been arriving in shorts and sandals. Someone even decided that socks with his sandals was too unfashionable and arrived with bare feet in his sandals. Our reader was amused by a colleague who when remarked: "He has feet like a Gruffalo."
READER David McVey tells us that having the right cash for a bus fare can sometimes prove difficult so he was much cheered by a wee wifie who got on board his bus in Cumbernauld, slapped down some coins and declared: "Ah hope it's wan-fifty cause that's aw ah've goat."
Adds David: "I don't know if it was the right fare or not but the driver let her on, as I would have too."
HOUSE names continued. Says reader John Brown in Helensburgh: "Some years ago a friend told me that new neighbours had named their house 'Bakotoon' and reckoned that they must have connections with the Far East. It took her a while to realise that she lived up a hill, at the very back of the town."
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