Timing is everything.

But it's not always a good thing. As the clocks went forward and the temperatures rocketed over the weekend, the Scottish male decided that the time was right to unleash peely wally flesh on an unsuspecting public. Thus, the tranquillity of the nation's parks was shattered by the din of horrified gasps as heaving brutes, with bellies hanging down in pleats and possessing all the athleticism of a manatee at low tide, waddled freely. It made you pine for the dark days of winter.

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