Rangers FC has asked supporters yet again to refrain from refrains of a sectarian nature.
Manager Ally McCoist suggests a list of approved appropriate ditties.
It might be easier to compile a short leet of subjects to be avoided: religion, ethnicity and Irish history. The prohibitions would apply equally to adherents of Celtic.
The challenge is to find topics upon which the two sides can safely disagree. Obviously not politics – British, Scottish or Irish.
How about philosophy? With its many separate schools of thought, philosophy is a subject about which Old Firm fans can fall out without breaking any laws. (At least not until the Scottish Parliament passes a bill on philosophically aggravated assault.)
Over at Ibrox stadium, they will no doubt follow transcendental idealism as espoused by Immanuel Kant. Supporters who fill a 50,000-seat stadium for a third division match against East Stirling will surely appreciate there are fundamental features of reality that escape our direct knowledge because of the natural limits of the human faculties.
Down Parkhead way, existentialism may be hailed. Having watched the Celtic defence in action many fans will understand the Nietzschean characterisation of the existential attitude as a sense of disorientation and confusion in the face of an apparently meaningless or absurd world. Some fans will think Nietzsche is a Celtic transfer target in the Bundesliga.
There is a flaw in my logic since philosophy is too cerebral a subject for the level of vituperation required in football songs and chants. Geography is usually a good reason for rivalry. Supporters are supposed to cherish the local club and have a high level of animosity towards the team even slightly further away. This concept may not work in Bridgeton and other enclaves of Glasgow's east end.
A down-to-earth topic such as food should be fertile territory for supporter song and banter. Who ate all the pies? You've never seen a salad. Sadly, in Glasgow, debate would quickly turn to potatoes and the famine and we're back at sectarian square one.
Mobile phones might be the answer. Let's have a huge and bitter divide about the relative merits of the Android versus the iPhone.
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article