England's cricketers have spent so much time recently plummeting downhill, skating on thin ice, and indulging in public sledging that perhaps they should have applied to compete at the Winter Olympics.
They could hardly have fared any worse in Sochi than at the World T20 tournament, where they were soundly beaten by the might of the Netherlands yesterday in Chittagong. Yes, the same Dutch collective who relinquished their precious one-day international status after finishing outwith the top six of the Associate nations at the 2015 World Cup qualifying event in February.
The result was comprehensive and while England had already been eliminated from the tournament, the manner of this latest debacle sparked a diatribe of criticism. Stuart Broad, who has lost his cheeky-chappy persona, described the batting effort as "shocking", which, given how his side were skittled for 88 chasing a 134 target, was merely stating the obvious. Michael Atherton dismissed the notion that his compatriots had been "complacent", on the grounds that the word implied they had hitherto been enjoying rich success, and David Lloyd summed it up as "hellish".
Less than eight months ago, England were dismantling Australia and coasting to a 3-0 triumph in the Ashes. The future seemed positive, promising and laced with potential. Yet, in the intervening period, they have lost their coach, Andy Flower, such talismanic performers as Kevin Pietersen, Graeme Swann and Jonathan Trott, and there has been so little interest from the planet's elite in the England role that Ashley Giles, Peter Moores and Mark Robinson are the triumvirate in the frame for what should be an elite post.
Giles probably feels as if he has lost the dressing room before he has even got the job. Moores, for his part, has already been in the post, prior to a conscious uncoupling with Pietersen. As for Robinson, who has fulfilled his duties at Sussex with an attention to detail and meticulous care, he is probably not a big enough name at the moment. Hence the sense of another impending crisis.
None of this pays sufficient credit to the Dutch. On a crazy day when wickets elsewhere tumbled like an explosion in a stump factory, they managed 75 from their first 10 overs, while England only struck four 4s in their entire occupation of the crease.
None of their batsmen managed 20 - Ravi Bopara top-scored with 18 - and they had no answer to the canny Mudassar Bukhari and Logan van Beek, both of whom claimed a trio of victims. They were also assisted by some tremendous fielding and catching, something which could not have been said about England.
But the loss demonstrated that, in Twenty20, if you master your basics, have faith in your ability, resolve to play the ball not the bowler's reputation, and have one or two genuinely belligerent hitters, anything can happen. The same applies, albeit to a lesser extent, in the 50-over format.
All of which should provide Scotland with reasons to be quietly confident when they confront the ECB's finest at Mannofield in Aberdeen on May 9. There will be no KP, no Swann, and the chances are that several other leading luminaries will miss the contest to focus on their build-up to the summer. England will be favourites, but the Dutch have now defeated them twice, Ireland have gained several significant scalps.
If the other Associates can do it, the Scots have to put their name on the board as well.
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article