Hello and welcome to The Midge, your first bite of the day’s politics in Scotland and elsewhere.

The Herald:

Today

  • University chairs criticise elected posts plan
  • All eyes on Swinney in showdown talks with Treasury
  • French firm Total turns on taps at Shetlands gas site
  • MSPs demand more powers for BBC Scotland
  • HOW much for Black Rod’s shoes?

06.00 BBC Radio 4 Today

Cameron launches prison reform plan for England … UN considers fresh sanctions on North Korea … Record number having cosmetic surgery … “Jungle” could come here, PM claims.

07.00 BBC Good Morning Scotland

Total confirms gas flowing ashore from £3.5bn Shetland plant… Funding talks resume … Sluggish growth for Scots economy… MSPs in new BBC powers call… Denver Broncos win Super Bowl. 

Front pages

The Herald:

Exclusive: The Herald's education correspondent Andrew Denholm reports  on a letter to Education Secretary Angela Constance protesting at changes to the ways universities are run. Moves to make their positions elected posts would have deterred them from applying, they say. 

Exclusive: Welfare changes mean 30,000 disabled Scots face the loss of mobility vehicles, says The National. 

The Herald: The Evening Times reports on an alleged disturbance at a Glasgow restaurant. 

The Scottish Daily Mail looks at information sharing in the NHS, claiming patients’ personal details have been handed out 20 million times in ten years. 

The Daily Telegraph says David Cameron will warn today that a new, Calais-style “Jungle” could appear in Kent if Britain leaves the EU and border control arrangements with France are scrapped. 

The Times says SNP deputy leader Stewart Hosie is open to the ide of fiscal framework talks extending beyond Friday.

The FT reports that Jeffrey Archer has cut his tax bill by donating a a sculpture of Satan to the Ashmolean in Oxford. 

The Guardian says Amazon, Google and other multinationals will have to publicise their earnings and tax bills under new EU laws. 

The Sun reports that murderer Peter Tobin was in hospital last night after collapsing with a suspected stroke. 

Camley's cartoon

The Herald:

Camley looks on the geopolitical bright side. 

Need to know

The Herald: Greg Hands MP

He’s the man of the moment, but you would be forgiven for not knowing Greg Hands (above) from Adam. Who is the 50-year-old Treasury minister heading to Edinburgh for talks with Finance Secretary John Swinney on the fiscal framework? In the great internet tradition, here are 10 handy hints about Hands:

1. Tory MP for Chelsea and Fulham.

2. Born in New York to British parents.

3. Attended state schools but according to his website, “his family was constantly on the move owing to the closure of grammar schools under the Labour Government”.

4. Read modern history at Cambridge.

5. Summer jobs included working at McDonald’s at Bahnhof Zoo, Berlin. 

6. Speaks at least four languages.

7. Worked in the City.

8. Married with two children.

9. National career: Shadow Treasury Minister, PPS to George Osborne, Whip, Chief Secretary to the Treasury since 2015.

10. Stated intention in coming north: to “do a deal”. 

Diary

  • Edinburgh: Treasury minister Greg Hands meeting with Finance Minister John Swinney on the fiscal framework.
  • Glasgow: Scottish Greens election campaign kicks off. 
  • Aberdeen: Unions launch the Offshore Co-ordinating Group (OCG) to protect the future of offshore workers. 
  • Glasgow: Launch of school radio station with First Minister Nicola Sturgeon and Bailie Liz Cameron.
  • London: Scottish Conservative leader Ruth Davidson speech to Joseph Rowntree Foundation.

Talk of the steamie: the comment pages

David Torrance in The Herald fears the arguments over tax highlight how “messed up” Scottish politics has become, while Marianne Taylor tells WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange to face the music. 

Melanie Reid in the Times is of a similar mind, saying Assange was put on Earth “to make the rest of us appreciate the unacknowledged blessing of modest, ordinary, rational people”. 

Chris Deerin in the Mail reckons Labour has already lost the next general election, so the long game is now the only one worth playing. 

In the Telegraph, Charles Moore, Mrs Thatcher’s biographer, ponders what her position might have been on the current EU debate. “The whole time she was in office, she never said that Britain should leave. Once she had left office, she said privately …. that she thought we should.” That clears that up, then. 

Afore ye go

The Herald:

“Though everything else has changed over the past half-century, Jeremy Corbyn has remained exactly the same - same old politics, same old beard, and, quite possibly, same old socks.”

Reviewer Craig Brown is less than stirred by a new biography of the Labour leader. Mail on Sunday

The Herald:

"I would encourage junior doctors across the UK and beyond to consider the exciting opportunities that the NHS in Scotland provides.”

Scotland's Health Secretary Shona Robison appeals to striking doctors in England. The next stoppage is planned for Wednesday. 

The Herald:

“Frankly embarrassing.”

LibDem leader Tim Farron’s verdict on his all white, all male, Commons contingent of eight MPs.

The Herald:

"I always worry that everyone thinks I am much more famous than I am. I find it very easy to walk around unmolested - it is not like being a politician when everyone hates you”. 

Nigella Lawson

The Herald:

"I would bring back waterboarding and I'd bring back a hell of a lot worse than waterboarding”. 

Donald Trump on what he would do if he was US president.

The Herald:

£30 million

The chunk of change you will need to buy Mrs Thatcher’s old house in Belgravia. The price includes a bomb-proof door. 

The Herald:

51,140

The number of cosmetic surgery procedures carried out last year, a record high, says the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons. Nine out of ten clients were women. 

The Herald:

"Fortunately Alex is a long way off being able to read so we'll just use the suits and hope nobody notices.”

Parents of a three-month old in Norwich who bought a pack of  Tesco baby-gros with slogans littered with such typos as “I was born awsome.” Tesco is now on the kase. 

The Herald:

£244

The cost of the shoes worn by Lieutenant-General David Leakey, aka Black Rod. Sunday Times

The Herald:

"She would have gone along with what is on offer, indeed negotiated something similar herself." Charles Powell (above) on what Thatcher would have thought about Dave's deal. Sunday Times

The Herald:

“I think I knew her better than he did.”

Norman Tebbit (above, left) takes issue with Powell. Her answer, once again, would have been “No, no, no,” said Lord Tebbit. 

The Herald:

“[Tory MP Nicholas] Soames declined to confirm or deny details of his weight loss regime or the presence of a gastric band. In both instances he issued a brief and unprintable two word statement.”

Tim Shipman, Sunday Times. 

Thank you for reading The Midge. See you tomorrow.