Hello and welcome to The Midge, the e-bulletin that takes a bite out of politics in Scotland and elsewhere.
Today
- Scots surgeon speaks out on NHS cash pressures
- Oil firms urged to explain tax haven links
- Plan to win indyref2 revealed
- Police dismiss Scottish Cup Final complaint
Front pages
Exclusive: in The Herald, health correspondent Helen Puttick speaks to Simon Barker, the new chairman of the Scottish Consultants Committee of the British Medical Association. The surgeon says cash pressures were hitting the NHS hard. “We are on our knees now,” he says. “We will be flat on our face soon.”
The National pictures one of the BHS stores which closed its doors for the last time yesterday.
The Mail says Philip Green, the chain’s former owner, has asked for assurances that an offer to the firm’s 22,000 staff over the pensions shortfall will halt an inquiry into the collapse. The Sun pictures staff crying as the last Scottish store in Glasgow pulled own the shutters.
The Times says reports of stalking in Scotland have trebled in the past five years, with 1413 complaints to police recorded last year.
A Med diet rich in fruit, veg, fish and nuts, is better for the heart than statins is the Telegraph’s splash, reporting on the latest research.
The FT reports that a US hedge fund has gone on a property buying spree in Ireland, France, Germany and the Netherlands in the hope of benefiting from a post-Brexit exodus from London.
The Record says the NHS in Scotland has spent almost £60 million on agency nurses in five years.
FFS: Five in five seconds
1. What’s the story? Farc, the left-wing revolutionaries in Colombia, have this morning announced a ceasefire.
2. Conflict started? 1964, making the 52-year fight between the rebels and government one of the longest civil wars of modern times. When the fighting started, Edward Heath was the British Prime Minister and the Beatles were on their first world tour.
3. Cost? 260,000 dead, millions displaced, billions spent, a fuelling of the international drugs trade.
4. Long-haul negotiations? Four years of talks, hosted by Cuba, brokered by Norway, resulting in the ceasefire announcement this morning by Timochenko, the leader of the Farc (Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia) and the Colombian president, Juan Manuel Santos (above, with President Obama in February 2016).
5. How did the news emerge? Via a traditional announcement in Havana by Timochenko, and, how else, a tweet from Santos with the hashtag #AdiosALaGuerra.
Afore Ye Go
“Having kept me at a distance in the run-up to the election in 2015, I think we probably only spoke twice in the whole four-week election campaign. That was astonishingly dsyfunctional when I compare it to how Tony and Gordon worked.”
Ed Balls, above, right, with Ed Miliband and Jim Murphy, outlines what he sees as the mistakes in Labour’s General Election campaign in his memoir, Speaking Out. Times. Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images
“For what cause would you die?”
“Freedom.”
PM Theresa May does a Q&A with Windsor, Maidenhead and Ascot magazine in her constituency. Besides that Braveheart link, she said she identified most with Queen Elizabeth, “a woman who knew her own mind and achieved in a male environment”. WPA Pool/Getty Images
“You’re in the newspaper business? That’s going to die before I do.”
A very, very old Grandpa Simpson to a reporter. Above, Simpsons creator Matt Groening. Ethan Miller/Getty Images
“I was surprised, even slightly overwhelmed, by the warmth of his welcome and his huge support for Brexit.”
A breathless Nigel Farage describes his reception at a Trump rally. The Ukip leader added: “I really don’t believe that he is the monster painted by many,” and urged people to remember that people thought Ronald Reagan was unfit for the presidency too. Mail on Sunday. Jonathan Bachman/Getty Images
"The SNP has a choice - to be Scotland's builders or Scotland's wreckers. It is high time we had a Scottish Government that acted for all of us, not just its own narrow interests.”
Scottish Conservatives leader Ruth Davidson on hearing the SNP will be launching a new drive for independence this week. Carl Court/Getty Images
“Ruth Davidson and her increasingly right-wing band of MSPs are in no position to lecture anybody about stability, given the utter chaos and confusion her party has caused with Brexit, and the potentially huge economic damage to Scotland which it threatens.”
A spokesman for Nicola Sturgeon's SNP responds. Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images)
"The SNP and Tories have identical, super-sized wrecking balls.”
LibDem leader Willie Rennie proves partial to the Miley Cyrus-inspired analogy too. Isaac Brekken/Getty Images for Madame Tussauds
"The whole purpose of the honours system is undermined when the rich and the powerful can collect their gongs without giving anything back. It's even worse when tax exiles are given honours.”
Shadow Chancellor John McDonnell adds Virgin Trains tycoon Richard Branson to his list of those (starting with former BHS owner Phillip Green) who should be stripped of their knighthoods. Mr Branson and Team Corbyn were in a tussle last week over Traingate. Sunday Mirror. PA Wire
Just passed a dishevelled and crumpled @jeremycorbyn in Waverley all on his own. Write your own metaphors #LabourLeadership #LabourHustings
— Jackson Carlaw MSP (@Carlaw4Eastwood) August 28, 2016
MSP Jackson Carlaw spies a famous face in Edinburgh. History does not relate if he bought the Labour leader a cup of tea.
“I'm still alive so that's the main thing.”
Tennis star Gordon Reid visits Blair Drummond Safari Park near Stirling to meet a lion cub named after him. The 24-year-old Wimbledon champion is now looking forward to the Paralympics in Rio. Andrew Milligan/PA Wire
"In my opinion the negotiations with the United States have de facto failed, even though nobody is really admitting it”.
Germany's economy minister Sigmar Gabriel comes to a bleak conclusion on US-EU efforts to reach a deal on free trade via the Transatlantic Trade and Investment Partnership (TTIP). Also yesterday, Germany’s top migration official, Frank-Juergen Weise, said the number of migrants coming to the country is set to be 250,000 and 300,000 in 2016, far fewer than last year’s close to one million total. AP Photo/Markus Schreiber.
One of Enid's lesser known tales... pic.twitter.com/szsIqzJpMQ
— Hilly (@HillyFoz) August 27, 2016
"I don't have anything against any religion or any person, but the country is overloaded.”
X Factor judge Sharon Osbourne, who lives in the US but travels to the UK regularly, on why she voted for Brexit. Matt Crossick/PA Wire
"Our nation was built on chips and spam fritters.”
MasterChef judge Gregg Wallace attacks Bake-Off judge Mary Berry for her opposition to deep fat fryers.
“If you are here, Ann, who is scaring the crows away from our crops?”
Pete Davidson of Saturday Night Live takes a pop at conservative commentator and Trump ally Ann Coulter during a “roast” for actor Rob Lowe, above, on the channel Comedy Central. Another comic, Nikki Glaser, said: "Ann, you're awful. The only person you will ever make happy is the Mexican who digs your grave.” USA Today. Christopher Polk/Getty Images
"I’m only here for all the love and respect I have for Rob Lowe and all of the talented performers tonight. It has nothing to do with the book I published four days ago."
Coulter shows the lady’s not for being fazed. Christopher Polk/Getty Images
Thanks for reading - see you tomorrow. Twitter: @alisonmrowat
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