Hello and welcome to The Midge, the e-bulletin that takes a bite out of politics in Scotland and elsewhere. 

Today

  • Middle class students ‘facing squeeze’ on places
  • MPs told to leave crumbling parliament while repairs done
  • Sturgeon axes MSPs as ministerial aides
  • Academic in hard border warning after Brexit
  • Warning over state of Scotland’s parks

Front pages

The Herald:

In The Herald, education correspondent Andrew Denholm reports a warning from university principals that plans to boost the number of poorer undergraduates will hit middle class candidates - unless the cap on publicly-funded places is lifted.

“Sickening” is the headline in the Mail, which shows an image of two police officers being attacked in a Glasgow street while some people film the incident.  

The Herald: In the Evening Times, Vivienne Nicoll reports that a special cleaning squad in Glasgow has cleared rubbish from an area the size of two football pitches. 

The National has a question for Theresa May - The single market: in or out?

The Express says house prices will rise for the next five years, defying predictions from Remainers. 

The Times reports on the recommendation that MPs and peers leave parliament to allow repairs to be carried out. See FFS, below. 

The Herald and the Telegraph pick up on warnings from an academic, delivered to the Commons Scottish Affairs Committee, that an independent Scotland staying in the EU post-Brexit would face a hard border with England. 

The FT says Wall Street is using techniques usually deployed by dating websites to recruit people from “non-traditional” backgrounds. 

Camley’s Cartoon

The Herald:

Camley reckons the only way is up for Sports Direct.

 

FFS: Five in five seconds

1. What’s the story? There’s been a dress rehearsal for the big event. 

2. Explain? Ahead of the first televised head to head debate between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, the two candidates have been quizzed, separately, at an event on board a decommissioned aircraft carrier, USS Intrepid, in New York. The audience was made up of serving soldiers and veterans. 

3. Headlines? Hillary Clinton said her use of a private email server had not jeopardised national security, while Donald Trump sent warm words across the ocean to Vladimir Putin, and said he had a plan to defeat Isis. 

4. Which was? It’s secret. Not so his admiration for the Russian president. Despite criticism in the US press of the “bromance” between Trump and Putin, the Republican nominee told NBC host Matt Lauer the former KGB officer had 82% approval ratings. “I think when he calls me brilliant I'll take the compliment, ok?” He added that Putin had been more of a leader than Obama. 

5. Much anticipation building over the main event? Just a bit. As you can see from the tweet by Tim Montgomerie above, the first TV debate on September 26 in New York is in danger of making the hype around the Ali-Foreman Rumble in the Jungle of 1974 look restrained. 

Afore Ye Go

The Herald:

"The roofs are leaking. The stonework is rotting … I don't think I'm giving away any secrets by saying there are lots of wires, nobody is quite sure where they go.”

Lord Lisvane, a former Commons official, gives the BBC a sense of the work that needs to be done on the Palace of Westminster. A parliamentary committee is due to recommend to MPs and peers today that they decamp to nearby premises from 2020-2026 to allow the £4 billion of repairs to the Grade-1 listed building to be carried out.

The Herald:

"There's a bunch of headless chickens here, they don't know what they voted for and have no idea where they're going to finish up, so we have to be cautious with our expansion next year, which is a pity."

Ryanair chief executive Michael O’Leary explains why, post-Brexit vote, the company is to base all 50 of its new planes outside the UK. Nick Ansell/PA Wire

The BBC's (Scottish) political editor tries out a guid Scots word on Twitter, only to be met with bemusement.

The Herald:

"(This House) hopes that the ideals and values promoted by the vision of the show's creator, Gene Roddenberry, of a better future, where humanity can peacefully explore the final frontiers of space and science, will continue to inspire future generations of scientists, actors and writers for many years to come.”

SNP MP Patrick Grady tables an early day motion in the Commons to mark 50 years since the first episode of Star Trek was broadcast. Other signatories included former Scottish first minister Alex Salmond. Some observers were less impressed. A Tory spokesman told the Sun: "We always knew the SNP at Westminster were a bunch of space cadets, and this motion proves it." Above, a fan at a Star Trek: Mission New York event in 2016 in NYC. Jason Kempin/Getty Images

The Herald:

“Australia has joined America at the G20 last week in slapping down her Government, telling us we are in fact at the back of the queue for a trade deal. The plain fact is this Government is not concealing its hand. It hasn't got a hand or, it would appear, a clue." 

Lib Dem leader Tim Farron, speaking after Theresa May's statement on last week's G20 summit. WPA Pool /Getty Images

The Herald:

"The train has left the station, the seats are all empty, the leader is on the floor - even on rolling stock they're a laughing stock.”

PM Theresa May tries out a Traingate routine on Jeremy Corbyn at PMQs. Leon Neal/Getty Images

Sports Direct founder Mike Ashley, who has been lambasted for not paying staff the National Minimum Wage, using zero-hour contracts and presiding over "Victorian" working practices, collects a wad of £50 notes he had pulled out of his pocket during a mock search as part of the firm’s AGM and open day. Joe Giddens/PA Wire

The Herald:

“A meaningless tautological soundbite."

FM Nicola Sturgeon’s description of Theresa May’s “Brexit means Brexit” declaration. Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images

The Herald:

"I always tell my friends to leave a couple of bob in their will, I'm like the Grim Reaper.”

Paul O’Grady at the opening of a new hospital at Battersea Dogs & Cats Home in London. The Duchess of Cornwall did the honours at the home, which receives no government funding. Eddie Mulholland/Daily Telegraph/PA Wire

The Herald:

"Last week we had Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt in so we sliced him open. He was gutless, spineless and heartless – and his head and his a*** were interchangeable.”

London Mayor Sadiq Khan repeats what a surgeon told him jokingly at London's St George's Hospital. Carl Court/Getty Images

The Herald:

Petra Laszlo, the camerawoman who was filmed kicking and trying to trip migrants near the border with Serbia in September 2015, is to face trial for breaching the peace, Hungarian prosecutors said. Index.Hu. via AP

The Herald:

“Can Owen Smith really carry on now that some people who once shared a stage with the bloke who sang Rat In Mi Kitchen have piled in behind Jez? Time will tell.”

Former Labour MP Tom Harris on part of UB40 backing Jeremy Corbyn, dubbed “the Islington marrow king” by Mr Harris, for leader. Telegraph. David Mirzoeff/PA Wire

Ken Livingstone v Sky's Kay Burley. Ouch.

The Herald:

"I figure they can't treat me any worse!”

Republican nominee Donald Trump decides to lift a media ban on the Washington Post, BuzzFeed and Politico. USA Today via CNN. Alex Wong/Getty Images

Finally, a brief outbreak of peace, love and understanding on Twitter: 

Thanks for reading. Twitter: @alisonmrowat. Housekeeping note: The Midge will be flying away on Monday, September 12, returning September 26. But here tomorrow, so see you then.