Hello and welcome to The Midge, the e-bulletin that takes a bite out of politics in Scotland and elsewhere. 

Front pages

The Herald:

In The Herald, UK political editor Michael Settle reports on PM Theresa May’s speech to the Conservative conference in Birmingham, and the SNP’s reaction. Education correspondent Andrew Denholm reveals the findings of a report on the standard of primary school education in Clackmannanshire.

Most papers lead on the May speech, with The National saying the attack on “divisive nationalists” has sparked “fury”, while the Sun says Mrs May and Ms Sturgeon are “at war” on Brexit. 

The Times says among those against Mrs May’s intention to start negotiations straight away are German Chancellor Angela Merkel. 

The FT says Mrs May’s speech was “the clearest sign yet” she wants a clean break from the single market. 

The Herald: In the Evening Times, Hannah Rodger speaks to rape victims about their ordeals.

Camley’s Cartoon

The Herald:

Despite what you may have heard, Camley finds agreement has broken out between PM Theresa May and FM Nicola Sturgeon.  

FFS: Five in five seconds

The Herald:

1. What’s the story? A Jeremy Paxman/Michael Howard-style tussle took place on the BBC's Sunday Politics Scotland yesterday between Gordon Brewer and Scottish Conservatives leader Ruth Davidson. Its subject: Boris Johnson. 

2. Do tell? Paxman famously asked Howard 12 times whether he threatened to overrule the then prisons chief Derek Lewis. Brewer challenged Ms Davidson three times to say, “I have confidence in Boris Johnson”. 

3. What did she say? First attempt: “I've always had confidence in the role of the foreign secretary”. Then: “"I sat down with Boris, we had a very good meeting and he is taking the role incredibly seriously. He's a man who speaks five languages, he's worked on the continent of Europe, he worked in Brussels for many years and was born in America, which is our greatest trading partner. In terms of qualifications for the job he's got them in spades and he's applying himself to the job. I think that shows a real will. He's wanting to engage with the Scottish government, he's wanting to engage with Scotland.” And finally: "I have more confidence in Boris Johnson now that I've sat down with him than I had before, there you go.”

4. What’s the beef between them? Like many Tories, there was making up to be done after the EU referendum campaign, particularly so between Davidson and Johnson after she had accused him, during a live TV debate, of “'selling a lie’”. Add to this her championing of blue collar conservatism while Johnson hails from the Bullingdon set, and the fact she got on very well with David Cameron, seen by many as a victim of Boris’s EU betrayal.

5. Does it matter? Ms Davidson told a fringe meeting at the Tory conference in Birmingham yesterday that she set herself a 10-year plan in 2011, ending in her becoming First Minister. That would put her in power in 2021. By that time, there could be a new Tory leader in Westminster. Blonde, populist, used to be Foreign Secretary…

Afore Ye Go

The Herald:

“If Scotland marshals its forces across the party divide, together with Wales and Northern Ireland …. it can make a real difference to the Brexit outcome. In effect, we need Scotland to help ensure that the UK government is saved from itself."

New Labour architect Peter Mandelson writes in the Times. Getty Images

The Herald:

“We will negotiate as one United Kingdom and we will leave the EU as one United Kingdom. There is no opt out from Brexit. I will never allow divisive nationalists to undermine the precious Union between the four nations of our United Kingdom.”

PM Theresa May addresses her party’s conference in Birmingham. Brexit talks will start by next March. Ben Birchall/PA Wire

The Herald:

$916 million

The loss declared by Donald Trump on his 1995 income tax return, as revealed by the New York Times. The size of the loss would mean he did not have to pay federal taxes for 18 years, the paper estimates. Jessica Kourkounis/Getty Images

How did Alec Baldwin get on as Trump on Saturday Night Live? Watch:

The Herald:

“It amazes me that I’m married to an Englishman and have English-speaking children, because I feel so Scottish - it’s the very core of who I am.”

Broadcaster Kirsty Young in conversation with John Bishop for his new show on Sky W channel. Eamonn M McCormack/Getty Images

John Cleese on Fraser Nelson, Scot and editor of the Spectator.

SNP MP John Nicolson hits back at Cleese. 

The Herald:

“As far as I’m concerned, it’s mine. It’s in my safekeeping and I’ll leave it to the nation in my will.”

What former Treasury minister David Laws, right, said when the National Archives and the Treasury asked him to handover departing minister Liam Byrne’s now infamous note, stating: “I’m afraid there is no money.” Henley Literary Festival. PA Wire

The Herald:

“At the TV studio, Sturgeon is wearing a green suit, the same colour as the set backdrop, and says she’ll change. I realise the craziness of my position: I’m talking to a woman whose main purpose in life is to break up the UK, hoping she will help us win the referendum.”

From former Downing Street communications director Craig Oliver’s memoir, Unleashing Demons. Mail on Sunday. Above, at the BuzzFeed News/Facebook debate via Getty Images. 

The Herald:

“An international superstar of f***wittery.”

An aide to strategist Lynton Crosby’s description of Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn during the EU referendum campaign. Unleashing Demons. Christopher Furlong/Getty Images

The Herald:

“That’s a sight I don’t wish to see again.”

Strictly judge Craig Revel Hall is unmoved by Ed Balls’s country and western themed Charleston. Guy Levy/BBC/PA Wire

The routine brought the Twitter wags out in force:

The Herald:

"I actually did one thing that Nicola Sturgeon didn't do – I managed to get a close family member elected.”

Scottish Secretary David Mundell referring to his MSP son, Oliver. The FM’s father, Robin, was the unsuccessful SNP candidate at a North Ayrshire Council by-election in August. Jack Taylor/Getty Images)

One gets a better class of delay announcement on Eurostar...

Only in New York ...

Thanks for reading. See you tomorrow. Twitter: @alisonmrowat