Hello and welcome to The Midge, the e-bulletin that takes a bite out of politics in Scotland and elsewhere.
Camley’s cartoon
Camley examines how the target culture is playing out in Scotland's NHS. Read the story here.
Front pages
In The Herald, health correspondent Helen Puttick details the damning conclusions Audit Scotland has come to about the health of Scotland’s NHS.
The story of missed targets and wages of £400,000 for locum consultants to fill staffing gaps also makes the splash in the Mail with the headline ‘National Health Shambles’, Scotsman, Times, and Telegraph.
The National pictures Theresa May in Janus-pose, reporting that Scotland’s Brexit minister Michael Russell accused her of “hypocrisy” over a leaked speech in which she warned against Brexit.
Exclusive: In the Evening Times, Stacey Mullen hears from Glasgow city centre police chief Brian Gibson that his staff will not be intimidated by the recent hit and run in which two officers were injured.
The Guardian reports concern that “scores” of unaccompanied children have been left behind as French authorities demolish the “Jungle” camp at Calais.
The Record reacts to news that John Leathem is to appeal against his 27-year minimum sentence for murdering 15-year-old Paige Doherty with the headline: “Lock him up until he dies.”
The FT pictures Donald Trump opening his new hotel in Washington DC. The Republican nominee has raised eyebrows by taking a break from campaigning to publicise his businesses. See Afore Ye Go.
FFS: Five in five seconds
What’s the story?
The LibDems have invaded the constituency of Richmond Park in west London for a by-election, date to be announced. The contest in Richmond has been sparked by the resignation of Tory MP Zac Goldsmith in protest at the UK Government’s decision to build a third runway at Heathrow. He will stand as an independent.
Invaded? Sounds serious
From Bermondsey and Ribble Valley to Newbury and Dunfermline/West Fife, the LibDem by-election machine has pulled off some remarkable upsets and is not to be underestimated.
Is Goldsmith’s coat on a shoogly peg?
Hardly. At the 2015 General Election, the son of billionaire businessman James Goldsmith had a majority of 23,015. The affluent area is also under the flight path for Heathrow.
What makes the LibDems think they stand a chance?
They are framing the by-election as an opportunity for Remain voters to protest at the result of the EU referendum. Richmond, like the rest of London, and Scotland, was heavily Remain. Given Theresa May’s slim majority, a protest vote victory could strengthen the hand of those, including the Scottish Government, fighting against a hard Brexit.
Battle cry?
LibDem leader Tim Farron, above, said yesterday: "If you want to stop Theresa May taking us down this extreme path that no-one voted for, then a vote for the Liberal Democrats will send a powerful message and could literally change the direction of our country.”
Picture: Jack Hardy/PA Wire
Afore Ye Go
"We have the option of the operator of last resort but I don't expect me to be running our railways in the near future.”
Transport Minister Humza Yousaf tells the Scottish Parliament's Rural Economy and Connectivity Committee that there is a plan to take over the running of the railways if ScotRail does not hit improvement targets. The minister also caused amusement among some members by saying he was “no transport expert”. Danny Lawson/PA Wire
You are GOOD enough,SMART enough, BEAUTIFUL enough&STRONG enough. Believe it and never let insecurity run your life #business #Entrepreneur pic.twitter.com/Jx7Bh3Hx2u
— Michelle Mone (@MichelleMone) October 26, 2016
Baroness Michelle Mone issues some motivational advice.
Thanks. I know. https://t.co/F8eoHCkxc1
— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) October 26, 2016
But broadcaster Piers Morgan doesn't need it.
Alan Partridge on travel writing, Trip Advisor, Britishness, John Humphrys, politics, the BBC and cushions.https://t.co/2RAVCD54C6 pic.twitter.com/vCKdw3dtKv
— BBC Radio 4 Today (@BBCr4today) October 27, 2016
Ever wonder what would happen if the BBC's Will Gompertz interviewed the broadcasting legend that is Alan Patridge? Follow the link to listen.
"...yes it's me again...no, nothing yet. Still filling time....anyway, Baz, did you see Judge Rinder today? Like, totally classic..." pic.twitter.com/7X7ah0E2jx
— Ern Malley (@GeoffShadbold) October 26, 2016
Apart from writing his memoirs, how IS David Cameron spending his days?
Seriously can't believe it @skysarahjane @skyjacquie @SkyNewsNaz @jonathansamuels - now just "2" weeks off Sunrise & I"m back to the old me! pic.twitter.com/r1Zgw0VrO1
— Eamonn Holmes (@EamonnHolmes) October 26, 2016
Recently retired Eamonn Holmes checks in too.
“Hillary Clinton took five days off to prepare for one debate and everyone looked at that as some kind of noble exercise. He's got the most active campaign schedule of the two candidates by far."
Trump campaign manager Kellyanne Conway, above, defends the Republican nominee’s decision to take a break from the campaign to open his new hotel in Washington. NBC Today. Justin Sullivan/Getty Images
"I'd love that. Mr Tough Guy. You know when he's Mr Tough Guy? When he's standing behind a microphone by himself.”
The candidate says he would take time out to fight vice president Joe Biden, who said last week he would love to take Trump “behind the gym” for his comments about women. The challenge from Trump came as someone vandalised his star on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame. Mark Wallheiser/Getty Images
“You are fascinated with sex!”: Watch the explosive interview between Newt Gingrich and Fox News host Megyn Kelly https://t.co/y5Khdd9jib pic.twitter.com/Kmadht7ueT
— CNN (@CNN) October 26, 2016
Meanwhile, Trump ally Newt Gingrich went to war in extraordinary fashion in a TV interview with anchor Megan Kelly, previously the target of comments from the Republican nominee.
Happy birthday to this future president. pic.twitter.com/JT3HiBjYdj
— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) October 26, 2016
Not that she's assuming anything.
Paying a visit to the neighbours to negotiate a Free Treat Agreement pic.twitter.com/61vFDc8HtF
— Palmerston (@DiploMog) October 26, 2016
Palmerston the Foreign Office cat makes an audacious grab for power at a neighbouring ministry.
“Last Friday, Amazon, CNN, and Twitter were all down all over the United States. It’s a chilling day that will one day be known in history as ‘Productive Friday’.”
Conan O’Brien has little faith in his fellow workers. Bethany Clarke/Getty Images
"It is a matter of satisfaction for the French administration because all those people now are in centres all around France and the Jungle is over.”
Pascal Brice, head of the Office for Refugees and Stateless People, declares the camp in Calais clear of residents as the bulldozers move in to step up demolition. But charities were warning last night that scores of children remained unaccounted for. John Stillwell/PA Wire
Office fax machine just got one of those spam calls and started yelling about car accidents. I feel I reacted as calmly as could be expected pic.twitter.com/BPhfvizTnQ
— Philip Sim (@BBCPhilipSim) October 26, 2016
From the BBC's Philip Sim. The shocking revelation here is that the BBC's Holyrood team still uses a fax machine.
Sports Minister @tracey_crouch shows off her skills in Sheffield ahead of media interviews at official launch of £200m #parklife project. pic.twitter.com/sMsgmEE3Tq
— DCMS (@DCMS) October 26, 2016
England's sports minister is a dab hand with a football. The Midge is checking if she has a Scottish granny.
Thanks for reading. See you tomorrow. Twitter: @alisonmrowat
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