Ronnie Hamilton, 59, ex-roofer
I was roofing in Edinburgh and felt short of breath. I was going up and down stairs but not functioning properly. I thought I had a cold or a flu or some sort of irritation. The doctor did a wee check and found out I had an irregular heartbeat and put me on medication.
He told me there were three options: Do nothing. Keep on medication. Get a heart transplant. The third option was the best to prolong my life.
I wasn’t leading such a bad lifestyle and I didn’t do anything which could affect my heart negatively. It just happened. Even the doctors say they don’t know how I got it. I can happen to anybody. My dad had heart problems, so it may be hereditary. I’ve never smoked and that helped because you need good lungs for the operation.
My two children were shocked because I'd had no health problems in the past. I tried to be as calm as possible because if I looked scared and concerned then it would have affected everybody. I kept them positive. I always had a bright outlook.
I never thought I would die. Maybe I didn’t realise the risk I was taking. When I was told I was on a transplant list, I didn’t know when it would come. I didn’t think 'they’ve found me a heart' every time my phone went. I didn’t think about it. I just got on with life. Not as if nothing had happened but I just tried to live as normally as possible.
When they phoned me at half past four in the morning I didn’t have time to think about life or death. I only had time to calm the situation, to make sure my wife, son and daughter were alright and to prevent myself from panicking.
If I went through the operation and didn’t come out, then I couldn’t do anything about that. It’s the people you leave behind, the people around me that had more concerns.
Before the operation a transplant coordinator asked me a few questions to make sure I was in the right frame of mind. She asked me what I was in for and why. I said I was in for a heart transplant. I said it was to give me a new life and more time with my family.
I used to wake up when I was lying in the hospital bed and think to myself ‘hospitals don’t kill you, they keep you alive’. That kept me focused while I was sedated.
I don’t believe in life after death, but while I was sedated I saw a star, a big light. I was going towards it up a hill where there was a grave for me. Two nurses were preparing me for my burial.
That was the last dream I had and I woke up soon after that. It could’ve been the afterlife, but I don’t know. It was the hill behind the Clutha Vaults, maybe based off of what was on the news at that time.
You see things and think things because of the drugs you’re on. I didn’t have very good dreams. Some people have good dreams, some people have bad dreams. Maybe it’s the television I watch but I had nightmares. I remember them but I wouldn’t tell them to anybody.
The minute I woke up I felt fantastic. I wiggled my toes, wiggled my fingers and was so happy. Then I saw my wife and my daughter. Fantastic feeling. Best feeling I’ve ever had.
I’m grateful for a future. Since I’ve had my transplant I now have a new granddaughter. That’s an added bonus, being able to see her, because I might not have otherwise.
Callum Bell
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