PRESIDING Officer Ken Macintosh started FMQs with some good advice for MSPs. As with all good advice, they ignored it, but it's the thought that counts.
It came after John Swinney, the Education Secretary avidly turning schools into failure factories, met a Labour question about class sizes with a rant about, obviously, Labour.
Bobbing and swirling like a pantomime dame, he foghorned about the SNP’s extra £120m for schools: “Labour Party members - every single one of them - voted against!”
Mr Macintosh leaned slowly into the mic. “I am glad that the Deputy First Minister has warmed us up. The First Minister and others do not need to follow that example.”
But as Tory leader Ruth Davidson got on her high horse to bate Nicola Sturgeon about crummy school results and prioritising the constitution, the FM couldn’t resist.
Betraying more than a hint of nervousness about Tory prospects on June 8, Ms Sturgeon revealed the drones of SNP HQ had been poring over last week’s Tory press releases.
“In all those press releases, we have seen health mentioned once, education mentioned 12 times and me, the SNP or independence mentioned a grand total of 153 times!” she cried.
At least there’s someone left in Scotland who can count, it seems. Or can pretend to.
After 45 more minutes of chuntering, up popped Tory Murdo Fraser.
Mr Fraser is a provocateur, with a penchant for provocateuring the Greens.
Patrick Harvie’s SNP add-on is standing just three candidates at the election, leading Mr Fraser and others to scent a pro-independence pact at work.
“On a point of order, Presiding Officer,” he began, a sure-fire sign it was nothing of the sort.
“With regard to the selection of questions for FMQs, I note that Question 3 is allocated as an open question to a leader of an Opposition party to hold the Scottish Government to account.
“Given the Scottish Green Party is now, in effect, a wholly owned subsidiary of the SNP, is it still appropriate for the Green leader to be granted an Opposition question in that manner?”
Before he had even finished, Ms Sturgeon and half the chamber had stampeded for the exits.
“I think the chamber’s reaction tells you that is a political point, not a point of order,” said the PO over the din. Maybe, smiled Mr Fraser, but point made.
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