SADLY, it is a familiar situation. A family splits up and the parents cannot agree on how to divide the care of their children. One of the parents, usually the father, goes to court for a child contact order. However, the parent who has custody, usually the mother, refuses to co-operate with the court and does not suffer any consequences. It is not only a recipe for bitterness and frustration for the parents, it can mean serious unhappiness for the children. And yet still it happens.

In theory, this is not how the system should work. For a start, both parents are assumed to have equal responsibilities and rights and are encouraged to go into mediation rather than court. However, if that is not possible and a court has to make an order, then there are sanctions available to enforce it, including fines, community orders, and, in the most extreme cases, prison.

In reality, though, there is confusion over what, if anything, can be done if a parent ignores a court order, with recent cases creating the impression that parents can ignore orders with impunity. Quite rightly that leaves parents who are seeking access to their children – which in most cases is the father – deeply frustrated; the charity Families Need Fathers says denying contact with a parent should be treated as seriously as situations where children are being harmed or abused and yet the law, in its view, is muddled, slow and ineffective.

It is hard to disagree with the charity. The evidence shows that having a loving father in a child’s life after a separation or divorce is in their best interests, and yet when a father has to resort to court, it can often be a slow process, meaning the child can lose their sense of connection with the absent parent. Sadly, it can also give the custodial parent more time to bad-mouth the absent parent, thereby making the situation worse. The quicker the court process can be followed, the less likely there is to be long-lasting bitterness and, in the interests of everyone, contact cases should be conducted much more quickly.

The apparent lack of any consequences for a parent who defies a court order is also a serious problem. Prison is in nobody’s interest but there are other possible sanctions available and they should be used more often. There is no reason, for example, why a parent cannot be ordered to do community service; paying compensation to an ex-partner might also be an effective way of forcing them to obey the court. Certainly, either option is better than doing nothing which will only encourage parents to think they can do as they wish.

Everyone involved in the process should also keep a few principles in mind. In some cases there will be good reasons to exclude a parent, but children generally benefit from frequent contact with both parents. In an age when fathers regularly take a more practical role in fatherhood, professionals should also do everything they can to keep fathers involved. And if things do go wrong, parents should feel confident they can go to a court system that is quick, fair and firm.