Cup runneth over

CONGRATULATIONS to England making it through against Colombia in the World Cup. It was touch and go though, with Colombia scoring that equaliser in extra time. As Ross Craig summed up watching the game as a Scotland fan: "In the 92nd minute, 'England have played well, they kinda deserve it. Maybe I'm big enough to be ok with this.' In the 93rd minute, 'Yaaaassss!'"

To be fair to England, the Colombians were a bit rough on the field. As John Parkin put it: "These Colombians got more cards than I got for my birthday."

Blitzed

NOT everyone is into the World Cup though. David Steel tells us: "A bit bored of the World Cup so a friend said on social media that he was going to watch Gregory's Girl. A friend then posted that in 1990 he had a German girlfriend who got a teaching placement at Abronhill High School the setting for the film in Cumbernauld. He said he went with her to show her where it was. As they arrived in Cumbernauld she got all emotional and burst out crying. Thinking she was nervous about her placement he pulled over and said, 'Don't worry, the kids will love you.' 'It's not that' she replied, 'it's just that I'm so ashamed of what my country did here.' He comforted her with, 'Naw, we did this to ourselves - I'll take you to Clydebank tomorrow'."

What a shower

THE Herald reported that Scottish Water has urged Scots to take shorter showers during the current dry spell. It reminds me of having a pint in Jiny McGuinty's in Ashton Lane when a young woman at the bar, fed up with her friend going on about her latest dating disaster, rather tartly told her: "Oh for goodness sake, I've had showers that have lasted longer than some of your relationships."

And a Lenzie reader once told us: "I've now learned that the only way to get my young son to flush the toilet is for me to be showering when he uses it."

Spinning a yarn

THE Edinburgh ferris wheel has just been put back up in Princes Street Gardens for the festival. Tour guide Gordon Hart tells us that on a previous year it was put up a tour bus guide was told by an unimpressed American: "The one at Five Flags in Texas is twice that size." The tour guide, says Gordon, couldn't resist replying: "Aye, but wait till you see our hamster.”

Let's face it

TRICKY thing that Facebook. It now puts up pictures of events that happened five or ten years ago. A Bearsden reader says: "I shouldn't have commented on an old picture of my wife, 'You looked a lot better then'. I know that now."

Slipped disc

OUR tale of cafe jukeboxes remind entertainer Andy Cameron: "Back in the day, Marie's in Ru’glen had all the top hits in the jukebox and for a shilling it played your top five favourites. Of course all us young dudes would wear out shop windaes on the way there to see how good we looked for the girls. However there was no chance of getting over confident because the waitress, Mrs Cassidy, would bring you back to reality by informing you, 'Aye ye’ve got a rerr heid fur a big bunnet’. Who can remember the first 45rpm they bought? Bye Bye Love by the Everly Brothers was mine and delighted to say at 77 I can remember aw the words!"

Any other jukebox memories?

The full picture

A PIECE of whimsy from a female reader who emails: "Was in the hospital car park with my pal and I said to her, 'I thought we were here to get your X Ray back?' She replied, 'Yes we are,' as she slashed a tyre with a Stanley knife, 'this is his car'."

A bit flushed

THE Diary pic of the graffiti on the exit sign reminds Davie Currie: "Whilst at Paisley Tech, aeons ago, one smart alec wrote 'Pretty' above the toilet lock in one of the loos. So it was either 'Pretty vacant' or 'Pretty engaged'."