However, in slightly conflicting advice, parents are also urged to show some “tough love” by cutting back on washing, ironing and giving their child money – which will then encourage them to get a job.
The new guide also suggests parents should help their newly qualified offspring be realistic about job expectations, warning that many people “waste away the years” attempting to become actors and film-script writers.
The guide, published by the Department for Business, Innovation and Skills (BIS), is designed to help parents motivate their children who have recently graduated, or will do so next year.
The guidance acknowledges that this is a “time of uncertainty” and that while many young people are excited at getting a good graduate job, after graduation “reality hits” and being jobless can affect their self-esteem.
The guide lists a set of dos and don’ts for parents to “motivate not alienate” their child. The list of dos says parents should “allow them (their child) some time to relax once they graduate but don’t let a few weeks turn into a few months. Encourage them to set goals and monitor progress”.
Another tip states: “Arrange a regular update of progress to avoid nagging. This could be weekly or daily and if agreed in advance can help your son/daughter monitor progress and keep you informed, without
adding more pressure on them.”
The list of don’ts includes advice on nagging, stating: “It might work in some circumstances, but most young people want to get a job and know there is a lot of competition. The nagging can make young people feel more stressed and makes the failure to get a job worse.”
But another tip says that parents should not be too supportive. “Sometimes, it really is necessary to show tough love,” the guide states.
“If you are making life too comfortable at home, why would they get a job? If you are providing free board and lodgings, a well-stocked fridge, washing and ironing done, plus an allowance, there’s not much drive there. So cut back to help increase their motivation.”
A third tip suggests: “Don’t dismiss their ideas but also encourage them to be realistic. Yes, some people will make it as actors and film-script writers but many just waste away the years. People often pursue careers such as this alongside a job, so encourage them to get a job to increase their independence and so they can support themselves on their dream path.”
Parents are also warned not to “take over” and phone companies on their child’s behalf, and not to fund or help their son or daughter to take out a loan for expensive training without researching it first.
The guide lists the different options that are available to new graduates, including paid or unpaid internship, work experience and entry level jobs, as well as organisations and websites that are there to help out.
The guide admits that new graduates could now find that in the current financial climate they have to put their plans on hold and are likely to be earning lower wages than they imagined. But it insists that while some young people could feel that they made a mistake going to university, a degree is a “good long-term investment”.
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