A HUSBAND whose wife postponed life-saving cancer treatment over fears it would harm her unborn son has raised more than £20,000 for the hospice that cared for her in her final days.
Steven Phillips, 33, worked tirelessly to raise funds for the Prince and Princess of Wales Hospice in Glasgow in memory of his wife, Brenda.
The couple met when they were 17 and were married in 2008, but Mrs Phillips learned she was suffering from breast cancer just months after becoming pregnant with their first child.
The 33-year-old refused to have a termination which would have allowed her to have high doses of chemotherapy straight away.
Mr Philips said: "Brenda vowed to fight it every step of the way but her main thoughts were always for everyone else and for Oliver. He was going to be her miracle baby and she was going to have him. All Brenda was concerned about was Oliver, and not for herself at all."
Mrs Phillips went on to have a mastectomy, followed by three courses of low-dose chemotherapy. All were precisely calculated not to harm Oliver. Mr Phillips said: "When Brenda woke up after the mastectomy she was still groggy but the first thing she asked was 'How is my little baby boy?' It was just like her to worry about everyone else."
Oliver was born on August 16 and Mr Phillips said: "Brenda and I were both in tears. But they were happy tears as Oliver was perfect.
"I held him and the first time he opened his eyes he looked directly at Brenda. She was so happy. In a way, cancer was forgotten about. Oliver took away all that pain."
After the birth, Mrs Phillips was given a high dose of chemotherapy. She finished what she hoped was her last treatment in November and it felt like the family had a chance to celebrate.
But just weeks later Mrs Phillips had agonising headaches and a scan revealed the cancer had spread to her brain. She had radiotherapy and surgery, but as December came doctors told the new mum there was nothing else they could do. She died in her husband's arms in the Hospice.
Mr Phillips said: "Having to hold the love of my life and soul mate and watch her pass away is the hardest thing I have ever done. Her courage amazed me and her decision to fight it every bit of the way because of our miracle boy, made her the bravest young lady I have ever known.
"I called Brenda Little Miss Sunshine as her smile lit up every room. Oliver has got that smile too and the same beautiful blue eyes. One of the last things she said to me before she died was that she was proud of me.
"I'm determined to be the best dad possible and Oliver will grow up knowing all about his mum. She's asked me to take him to New York when he's five and I'd like to take him to Cancun to where we married."
The Hospice, which currently cares for more than 1,200 patients every year, has launched a new appeal, Brick by Brick, dedicated to raising £15 million to build a new purpose-built facility in Bellahouston Park, and is hoping people will be inspired by Mr Phillip's story and help them reach their target.
Mr Phillips added: "All the staff in the Hospice showed so much compassion. They were truly angels Having seen the plans for the new Hospice I can see what an outstanding building this will be, with better facilities for both patients and families.
"I will never forget the support we received and I have pledged to continue my fundraising efforts for the Brick by Brick appeal while endorsing the exceptional work carried out by the Hospice and staff."
If you want to know more please click here:
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article